DARK SHADOWS FORUMS
Members' Mausoleum => Caption This! => Games => Caption This! - The Return of Laura => Topic started by: Mysterious Benefactor on January 07, 2005, 01:37:51 AM
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Mrs. Johnson: "No. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not interested in taking advantage of your 'Girls Gone Wild' video package deal?!"
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Good one, MB-
...she'll answer phones, but she doesn't do windows or haunted cottages.
Now they have a video out called "GUYS Gone Wild" - but I'm sure Mrs. J would still say no, unless she was Carolyn's "Secret Santa" that year.
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Mrs. Johnson: Yes I need to upgrade my health insurance to include attacks by vampires, witches and werewolves.
FireRose
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"I told you Mr. Roger I'm not coming to your office to play secretary--"
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Ring, ring....
MRS. JOHNSON: (answers phone) Hello. Collins residence...
BART SIMPSON: Uh, yeah, do you have a hairy johnson?
MRS. JOHNSON: Yes, yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a Harry Johnson.
BART SIMPSON: Gee, lady, then maybe you should join the freak show in the circus. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck...
MRS. JOHNSON: (seething) Why, you little.... (slams down the phone)
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{LMAO J99...and Sandor - I can't breathe...LOL :-*}
Anyway...
Mrs. J: Really, Mr. Devlin - I've told you once I've told you a million times, I'm not that kind of a woman. You can keep your kinky phone calls to yourself... {whispering} Alright, alright--what are you wearing...?
>:D
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Hello, Ghostbusters? Have I got a job for you!
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Mrs. Johnson: "Outstanding phone bill? But Mrs. Stoddard always pays her bills on ti--wait a minute...Connie, is that you?"
ProfStokes ;)
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Mrs. Johnson: "Outstanding phone bill? But Mrs. Stoddard always pays her bills on ti--wait a minute...Connie, is that you?"
Oh that was sooo delicious Prof!! I laughed out loud in my bedroom for 5 mins!!! to you Connie. . you prankster!
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Mrs. Johnson : Hello Allstate, this is Sarah Johnson. I'm the lady who's sister was killed when a little house fell on her in Kansas. Witnesses? Yes, there were several. There was a Miss Gale and some sort of midget convention.
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Mrs. Johnson : Hello Allstate, this is Sarah Johnson. I'm the lady who's sister was killed when a little house fell on her in Kansas. Witnesses? Yes, there were several. There was a Miss Gale and some sort of midget convention.
Oh Geez,
[rofl10] This is 2funny!!!!! [a1f5]
Always, Minja [a1f5]
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"OH DEAR, another phone solicitor....." >:D [jester]
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"Mmhmm, that's right, Gladys, ...and then that little hussy tried to serve me jarred mayonaise on my turkey sandwich!"
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[laughing4] Dom, you're really on a roll today - and that one is particularly priceless! [lol2]
But I do have to wonder what MrsJ was thinking by conducting a personal call in the foyer?! :o She should have been talking on the phone in the kitchen and was taking an awful chance. I mean, what would Mr. Roger have said if he ever caught her forgetting her place like that??!! [furious3]
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[laughing4] Dom, you're really on a roll today - and that one is particularly priceless! [lol2]
But I do have to wonder what MrsJ was thinking by conducting a personal call in the foyer?! :o She should have been talking on the phone in the kitchen and was taking an awful chance. I mean, what would Mr. Roger have said if he ever caught her forgetting her place like that??!! [furious3]
Well, you know how Mrs. J. is: If the issue is critical enough, she'll take any chance to get the word out. lol
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Mrs. J: "You've reached 1-900-MAIDSLUT, you great, bug hunk of... ahem... no, David, your father isn't back from Bangor yet..."
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LOL AdAstra, Cyrus, Heather and especially Sandor! I LOL on all of yours.
Here's mine...
Mrs. Johnson's audtion for the role of Ms. Gulch went well.
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MrsJ: Hmm... A "heavy breather", eh? OK, let's go down the list again. A Leviathan? No. Ghost of Bill Malloy? No. Ghost of Quentin? No. Adam? No. Willie? No. My wayward, obnoxious son Harry, calling from prison? BINGO!
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Radio Announcer: Yes! Mrs.Sarah Johnson! you were the first person to get this call! and are now in the running for our grand prize! One luxurious week in the famed haunted house in Collinsport main!
Mrs.Johnson: You call that a prize! I live there sonny!
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Mrs J: Harry, I'm not gonna to bail your butt out of the slammer!
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"Yes, Paula Young Wig Co., this is Mrs. Sarah Johnson of Collinsport, Me., one of your most satisfield customers calling. I'd like to order the 'William Shatner Special' as a Christmas gift for Sheriff George Patterson."
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Radio Announcer: Yes! Mrs.Sarah Johnson! you were the first person to get this call! and are now in the running for our grand prize!  One luxurious week in the famed haunted house in Collinsport main!
Mrs.Johnson: You call that a prize! I live there sonny!Â
LOL! This is funny! [laughing4] [stfl]
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Is this an obscene phone call? Miss Stoddard is currently busy with other callers. Your call is very important to Miss Stoddard and it will be answered in the order it was received.
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[pointing-up] [a1f5]
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What's my favorite scary movie? Boy, do you have the wrong number!!"
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Mrs.Johnson: I’m sitting on a 100 gallons of homemade mayonnaise with a street price of over $10 an ounce.
Are you in or out?