DARK SHADOWS FORUMS
Members' Mausoleum => Calendar Events / Announcements Archive => Calendar Events / Announcements '24 I => Calendar Events / Announcements '02 II => Topic started by: VAM on November 01, 2002, 08:45:09 PM
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I would like to apologize if I have offended anyone by my comment that was honestly in jest...Guess I forgot to take off my clown costume from last night. I have decided, with mixed emotions, that this will be my last post here since it is in the best interest of everyone. I enjoyed meeting and sharing with so many of you. Thanks for giving me a smile!
Take care all and God bless you through life's journey-
VAM
P.S. Many thanks to Midnite and MB for giving me the wonderful opportunity of sharing on this site.
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I'm sorry that you feel you have to leave, VAM. :( You will be missed.
ProfStokes
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I would like to apologize if I have offended anyone by my comment that was honestly in jest...Guess I forgot to take off my clown costume from last night. I have decided, with mixed emotions, that this will be my last post here since it is in the best interest of everyone. I enjoyed meeting and sharing with so many of you. Thanks for giving me a smile!
Take care all and God bless you through life's journey-
VAM
P.S. Many thanks to Midnite and MB for giving me the wonderful opportunity of sharing on this site.
Shades of Victoria Winters! I do not understand! which comment? I know of no disturbing comments given... I wish for you to remain. :'(
:'( Please don't go... :'(
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[bnghd][bnghd] I also do not understand. Will miss you. Afan
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I would like to apologize if I have offended anyone by my comment that was honestly in jest...
What about the other public comment, made to me directly? I choose not to accept your apology. THE END.
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C_S,
I realize the comment was made to you on the forum, you've expressed how you feel about it, and now if there's any more to be said about it by either of you I ask that you do it off the boards. PLEASE, or the comment will be removed, and the person making it may find herself muted on the forums.
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VAM - I simply cannot imagine you purposely offending anyone in the world. You have absolutely the best trivia and brain racking topics on the board!! I hope you will reconsider.
Your fan, Chris.
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VAM,
I hope you will reconsider. Many times, even though there is no harmful intent, offense is taken ... you apologized and that should be the end of it. I don't even know what you did. I haven't seen it.
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VAM,
I, too, hope you reconsider. One of the troubles of the internet is that you can never tell when people are joking or are serious. Though I do not know the comment you are talking about, I sincerely hope you stay on the boards. You always have such wonderful posts, and I have enjoyed reading and responding to them.
-Lindsey
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get your butt back here Vam, no need in depriving yourself of something you obviously enjoy so much because of a misunderstanding or whatever.
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Hi, Vam what happened on here i didn't see a comment
either. ???? Love Anne
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VAM,
I hope you reconsider. Your posts, along with your obvious love and enthusiasm for the show, add a lot to this board. If you do not change your mind, just know that you will be truly missed.
Mike
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One of my mother's favorite expressions is- -
"Put it in the dust and let the rain settle it."
Meaning let bygones be bygones.
I hope you change your mind and stay on the
DSForums Vam.
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VAM,
I hope you will reconsider. Many times, even though there is no harmful intent, offense is taken ... you apologized and that should be the end of it. I don't even know what you did. I haven't seen it.
I believe I did see it... I can understand how it could have been misunderstood... given time it will be as forgotten as the family secret!
Don't sweat the little things.. Vam, worry about how Quentin will handle Angelique!! now that is something to worry about....
I can still hear that breathy laugh of hers...
Oh my Quentin what have you and Evan done now.. imagine what they could have done with a Ouija board?
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I don't mean to seem nosey,but vam is a good poster and I'm wondering just what supposedly he has said that he feels is so wrong that he has to leave the forum?..Which topic is this incident under?
Adra
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VAM, there's certainly no reason for you to leave. Presumably now that it's been pointed out how something meant in jest can be misconstrued, you would be more careful in the future. It would be a shame with all you've contributed here for that to stop because of one incident. No one suggested banning you or that you weren't wanted.
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I am just getting to know you VAM!!!
Stay!
:-(
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Gee, Vam, now that I can see the board somewhat clearly, I find out that something happened and you want to leave it. Please don't. I've enjoyed reading your posts so much.
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I hope you will reconsider and continue to post here. Obviously I missed the blunder made. Perhaps everyone involved can email each other and work out a solution other than you leaving. I've really enjoyed your comments very much and I feel saddened that it's come to this.
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I also wish you would reconsider, Vam. You provide the board with a wide variety of topics to discuss and your presence would certainly be missed. I hope you stay.
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I don't know what happened (I rarely get the chance to read every single topic or post because of time), but you keep your kiester here, Vam!
Gerard
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I am so very touched by all your responses. It does warm and move the heart to know you care. Because you care, so do I. Thank you!
VAM
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Now, this is ONLY an impartial observation, and I don't want anyone to take my comments personally, because they're certainly not meant that way.
Apparently, VAM (whom I do not know) "jokingly" (her term, not mine) jabbed at "XXXX" (whom I also don't know). The remark was deemed unacceptable by Midnite but left to stand (if I'm wrong about this, please don't hesitate to correct me).
What followed next was this thread--an "apology and goodbye" from VAM. Speaking objectively, I knew such a posting would solicit across the board sympathy and a slew of messages asking VAM to rethink her decision. And I knew (am I psychic, or what?) that it would all end the way it has: with VAM posting, thanking her supporters and (apparently) deciding to stay, after all.
In the meantime, "XXXX" is suddenly cast in a different light...by implication, he/she is almost the villain in this piece. Hmmm...is something wrong here? Who tossed out the first volley: VAM or XXXX?
If there's a conflict between these two people, it should definitely be taken off board. And that also means "apologies." I seriously doubt anyone here (aside from XXXX) was insulted by VAM's comment--so why the apology to the board? What's the point? I have my own opinion, but I'm afraid if I express it, I'll be riding out of here tarred and feathered.
Come on, kids...let's not have such thin skins, ok?
Rod
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Yendor, I know your intentions were good, but anytime you point fingers at another poster, you're being personal. First of all, this has nothing to do with the poster you named (I x'd out the poster's name, btw, out of fairness to him/her), and I'm sure none of us want to see an issue between 2 members rehashed now that both have fully cooperated in taking their issues off the forum.
Please understand that the mods have the ability to remove posts for content, though it's done only when it's in the best interests of the forum and while referring to a guideline, and ideally it's done before visitors can see them. (This, btw, is why we hope that posters will allow moderators to handle problems, because replies that call attention to problems before we can get to them often make them bigger.) I've removed/modified more than a few posts in the past couple of days and another was voluntarily edited by the author, and you would have no idea whose messages they were or what they contained, so to try to recreate what happened is impossible for any non-administrator, and these are the reasons I ask that no one speculate or try to lay blame in addition to the fact that I don't feel it's an appropriate topic for discussion on a DS posting board. Thanks!
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Thanks for the explanation, Midnite...but if this issue was resolved "off board," why the existence of this thread? Shouldn't that have been taken "off board," as well...since most people, including myself, didn't have a clue as to what it referred to?
Rod
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Now, this is ONLY an impartial observation, and I don't want anyone to take my comments personally, because they're certainly not meant that way
What followed next was this thread--an "apology and goodbye" from VAM. Speaking objectively, I knew such a posting would solicit across the board sympathy and a slew of messages asking VAM to rethink her decision. And I knew (am I psychic, or what?) that it would all end the way it has: with VAM posting, thanking her supporters and (apparently) deciding to stay, after all.
In the meantime, "XXXX" is suddenly cast in a different light...by implication, he/she is almost the villain in this piece. Hmmm...is something wrong here? Who tossed out the first volley: VAM or XXXX?
My return is sincerely due to the responses here which I did not intend to solicit. So I decided not to move out but move on. Let's not worry who started it all but concentrate on how to get beyond it. This really does not help in that regard...
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Thanks for the explanation, Midnite...but if this issue was resolved "off board," why the existence of this thread? Shouldn't that have been taken "off board," as well...since most people, including myself, didn't have a clue as to what it referred to?
You're welcome, Rod. The topic was begun, apparently, as a way for VAM to apologize and say goodbye, and as for motive, you'll have to ask her. While I understand that you're saying you don't know what she's apologizing for, it's not a justification to remove her message or stop anyone from telling her how they feel about her departure. There's no reason you can't IM her, but my point is that the discussion about why or who or what happened doesn't need to continue here.
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VAM, your message was edited for content. If you want to know why, read the following guideline. At this point, I don't care if you say it was a joke, and I don't care if you claim that your words were misunderstood, and I don't care if you insist that the sarcasm was appropriate; just please know that I expect you to start reading your messages before you click "Post" to note if they offend, slander, insult, or inflame anybody, and if they do to use your back key to take those comments out. And if you have something to say about this, my IM and email are both lit. DON'T do it on the board.
4. If a poster feels wronged, slighted, or offended by another poster, these disagreements should be taken up in private e-mail between the posters. These disagreements may also be brought to the forum moderator, if necessary, but members are strongly encouraged to solve these problems among themselves off-board.
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I understand. But what does "IM" mean? I can "IM" her? Huh? Does that mean private e-mail? Forgive my ignorance!
Rod
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But what does "IM" mean? Does that mean private e-mail?
"IM" stands for Instant Message--which is slightly different from private e-mail, as you can send a member a private communication through the board.
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I understand. But what does "IM" mean? I can "IM" her? Huh? Does that mean private e-mail? Forgive my ignorance!
It's no problem! It stands for Instant Message. On all members' posts, there's a small icon that shows a page with an envelope on top of it. If you click on the page/envelope that's inside the message of the person you want to contact, it'll open a window with their username already filled in. Just type your message (subject title is optional), then click Send and it will immediately appear in their message center. It's not like email, but is very similar to AOL Instant Messenger.
Another way to send an IM is by accessing your own message center via the "Hey, yendor, you have __ new messages, __ are new" under the logo on all the forum pages, then click "New Message" in your message center. Doing it this way, you need to know the exact user name of the person you're writing; mine, for example, is admin and not Midnite. There's yet another way to get into your message center-- thru the Info Center on the Home page, but I don't want to confuse you.
BTW, the little envelope that appears next to the IM icon in some posts provides a way to send emails. But not everyone has it because many choose to keep their email addresses private. I hope that's not too much info all at once. :)
BTW, you'll find that you have at least 1 unread message in your message center. It's a note from me that I sent you on Halloween. :D
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Forgive my being a butt-insky, but as a matter of course for online boards, I find that simply ignoring the postings of individuals that are offensive, insulting, boring, or otherwise inappropriate is usually sufficient to keep my blood pressure down and avoid wasting time and bandwidth. Some people thrive on pushing others' buttons; they're wastes of flesh, as far as I'm concerned, and it's better just to cover up yer buttons than let 'em get to you.
The two-pence of a weary traveler....
--Mark
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Forgive my being a butt-insky, but as a matter of course for online boards, I find that simply ignoring the postings of individuals that are offensive, insulting, boring, or otherwise inappropriate is usually sufficient to keep my blood pressure down and avoid wasting time and bandwidth. Some people thrive on pushing others' buttons; they're wastes of flesh, as far as I'm concerned, and it's better just to cover up yer buttons than let 'em get to you.
The two-pence of a weary traveler....
--Mark
Very sage advice Mark ;)
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After reading all of this, I have decided I will say goodbye. Life is too short for this nonsense that went on here. I have plenty of other things to do. I will continue to keep Craig Slocum's memory alive through the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. I will provide what I can for the Dark Shadows Festival, but I myself will not be there. I feel it's time to move on. I take pleasure in my family, friends, being involved in my daughter's school, church, and community, which brings me happiness. If anyone cares to write, please e-mail me at the address found in my profile. I will not be here to read any IM's or posts. My mind cannot be changed.
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As soon as I've posted this, I'm locking the topic. Anyone wishing to make a comment to Craig_Slocum about her decision can do so using <craigsghost@hotmail.com>.
I'm doing so in the hope that we can get back to primarily discussing Dark Shadows. Interestingly enough, messages rarely need to be modified or removed and warnings are very rarely issued when we stay on topic.
In closing, I'm pasting the following excerpt from the forum guidelines:
You agree that notwithstanding anything herein to the contrary, the administrators and moderators of dsboards have the right, but not the obligation, to remove content from dsboards which they determine to be in violation of this agreement. Similarly it is the administrators' and moderators' sole discretion to determine what is and what is not in violation.
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Unlocking the thread for just a moment... and only a moment, I promise!
I'm going against my own request (stop laughing, Dom) to end this topic, but it's because I don't want to leave everyone bewildered about a couple of noticeable changes that have occurred on the forum, and since we've in many ways become a close group I feel explanations are in order.
Some unfortunate comments made on the forum today (which were promptly removed) have led to a loss of posting privileges for an indefinite period for one of our cousins.
Switching reels here... Cheryl's decision to leave stemmed from the fact that she felt that a recent comment reflected poorly on her, but I'd like to make it clear that she, in fact, did not instigate any of our recent problems. She has expressed to me that she enjoys the forum, and in light of the fact that she is a member in good standing, she will continue to participate on the forums.
Hope that was satisfactory cuz I'm shutting up now. Really.