DARK SHADOWS FORUMS
General Discussions => Current Talk Archive => Current Talk '24 I => Current Talk '02 II => Topic started by: VAM on August 18, 2002, 06:28:15 PM
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Bob the Bartender gave me an interesting idea for a post when he talked about Jeff Clark's fortune cookie comment "Beware of tall, raven-haired women in black cocktail dresses." Let's pretend they did have a catered Chinese dinner party at Collinwood and all your favorite DS characters attended. What would be some of those fortunes coming out from the cookies of those guests?
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To Maggie Evans:RUN,RUN ,RUN :o :o :o :o
jennifer
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Shameless plug :-* :-* . . i wrote a short story about Julia getting her fortune told just a few weeks before Maggie Evans came to Wyndcliffe. . .
it was called
Carnival Dreams. .
available on the JULIAHOFFMAN.COM site:
http://www.juliahoffman.com/fictionabc.htm
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Barnabas: Beware easy blondes--keep your pants on!
Willie: Beware coffins you THINK contain jewelry!
Carolyn: Cousins with sharp teeth can prove to be hungry.
Julia: Chasing the undead can lead to free room & board!
David: Beware blonde bimbo with big mouth and small brain!
Maggie: Going to live in large, gloomy mansions only leads to madness!
Joe: Getting involved with Collins family only leads to madness!
Megan and Philip Todd: Open antique shop in Los Angeles, CA!
Elizabeth: Beware false death!
Angelique: Avoid rich young men from across the sea who have overheated loins!
Love, Robin
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Harry Johnson's fortune would read, beware of haunted mansions, especially if your Mother works in one! ;D
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David: Beware blonde bimbo with big mouth and small brain!
ROTFL Beware the WHINE :o
jennifer
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Barnabas: Beware easy blondes--keep your pants on!
Julia: Chasing the undead can lead to free room & board!
David: Beware blonde bimbo with big mouth and small brain!
Angelique: Avoid rich young men from across the sea who have overheated loins!
ROTFL!
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Barnabas - Beware of women who only come out at night. [fangs]
Vicky - Do not marry a man with light colored hair.[hdscrt]
Elizabeth - Soon you will have a new member added to your family- and it's best to be nice to her.[jester]
Julia - Watch out for handsome young men, especially those with sharp teeth! [fangs]
Jeff Clark - You will soon be the coach for a famous baseball team, And you'll never need a microphone.[argue] [scrm]
Angelique - It's time you moved on and got a life! Let go of the past. [angryf]
Harry Johnson - Stay out of any attic rooms. [eek]
Roger - Beware of woman with big black wig.[spidr]
Maggie - A tall dark stranger will soon enter your life, but BEWARE! [pimp]
Willie - And you thought you had it worse before....[sconf]
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For Nicholas Blair: "Always wear your sporty hat (fastened with a strong pin) when standing at the top of Widow's Hill."
For Collinsport Inn Manager Mr. Wells: "Take that other job at Motel6, IMMEDIATELY!"
For Professor Stokes: "Refrain from acting as an academic mentor for comely, dark-haired graduate students with a devilish gleam in their pretty eyes."
For Roger Collins: "Next time you want to find a life companion, try the over forty singles dinner dance at the local Christian Science Reading Room."
For Paul Stoddard: "Next time you want to blow off some steam, try getting wasted at the Kit Kat Lounge in Rockport, rather than at the Blue Whale in Collinsport."
For bartender Bob Rooney: "To avoid the inevitable Friday night brawls in your tavern, try serving O'Douls, Sharp, Cutter, Claustholler, etc. along with the rest of the rot-gut that you offer in your establishment."
For Sheriff Paterson: "Even though you live in cloudy and chilly Maine, never forget to slap that Coppertone SPF 55 on the top of your head before you go out on patrol."
For Joe Haskell: "Consider a career as a Maine state trooper. It's infinitely safer than working as a fisherman at the Collins Cannery."
For Eve: "If you'd like to blend a bit more with the local female folk of Collinsport, try ordering some matronly clothing items from either the L.L. Bean Catalog or the Lady Brooks Brothers Catalog."
For Carolyn Stoddard: "Why don't you try meeting some nice young man in Prof. Stokes' class on satanic cults in America."
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Jeff: You Will Become President Of The Hair Club For Men
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Harry Johnson - Stay out of any attic rooms. [eek]
It might have been fun, had the right person been there! :-*