DARK SHADOWS FORUMS

General Discussions => Current Talk Archive => Current Talk '24 I => Current Talk '07 I => Topic started by: David on March 18, 2007, 04:36:48 AM

Title: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on March 18, 2007, 04:36:48 AM
 ::)  :o
Got together with a few friends for a naughty night
of watching 1970s era porn.

After watching the porn/art~film  hybrid The Devil in Miss Jones (1973), we watched The Story of Joanna (1975).
Both films were directed by Gerard Damiano, the porn auteur who wanted to make serious art films a`la` Ingmar Bergman.
In both of these, dark, gothic, downbeat sexvids, you can see the Bergman influence, though Damiano was somewhat lacking in the talent department!

In one scene in the second film, stars Terri Hall & Jamie Gillis were seen walking across the lush garden to the manor house.
I realized that, as the house came into view, they were at Seaview Terrace in Providence R.I.!!!!!!
The Story of Joanna was shot at our beloved Collinwood!

Will wonders never cease!!!!

David     
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Taeylor Collins on March 18, 2007, 06:46:20 AM
How funny..I loves it!!
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on March 18, 2007, 08:05:52 AM
I thought it was hilarious myself!
;D

And, BTW, Seaview is actually in Newport.

David
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: sheenasma on March 18, 2007, 03:02:35 PM
Seen it
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Gerard on March 18, 2007, 03:15:07 PM
Hey, that may be a way to keep the franchise going.  With some talk about creating a musical version of DS, how about "The Best Little Whorehouse in Collinsport"?  Dolly Parton can play Angelique.

Gerard
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on March 18, 2007, 04:03:10 PM
 ;D
Instead of singing "Sneaking Around"
Dolly (Angelique) and Burt (Barnabas)
could sing "F~~~ing Around!!!"

David
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: dom on March 18, 2007, 04:38:43 PM
Hmm, now I see why DC kept such tight control over DS, lol.
Title: Just Imagine.......Deep Shadows, rated XXX
Post by: David on March 18, 2007, 07:03:32 PM
 ;D
Deep Shadows, a new film by Gerard Damiano, who gave you The Devil in Miss Jones

Starring Harry Reems as Barnabas Collins
and Marilyn Chambers as Angelique

with Ron Jeremy as Prof Stokes
Jenna Jameson as Carolyn
Annette Haven as Victoria Winters
and
Georgina Spelvin
as Elizabeth Collins Stoddard

David

Title: Re: Just Imagine.......Deep Shadows, rated XXX
Post by: Mysterious Benefactor on March 18, 2007, 07:36:13 PM
with Ron Jeremy as Prof Stokes

OMG - just that visual alone is enough to make me run screaming in the other direction!!  [scrm]

But at the same time, that casting is hysterical!  [stfl]  One question, though - will Reems be shaving his trademark mustache or will the film be introducing it as a new Barnabas trademark?  ;D
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: loril54 on March 18, 2007, 08:03:32 PM
My Questions are, what have you been watching. I know only one of those names. I hope I'm not really out of the loop.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on March 18, 2007, 09:15:09 PM
Lori, these are all 70s & early 80's porn stars.
Anyone familiar with them, as MB & I obviously are( ::))
will see the humor in these castings.

David

PS Ms Jameson is from the 90s.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Fletcher on March 18, 2007, 10:02:09 PM
And Peter North as Quentin Collins,

Chad Hunt as Willie Loomis.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Gerard on March 18, 2007, 11:35:51 PM
Lori, these are all 70s & early 80's porn stars.
Anyone familiar with them, as MB & I obviously are( ::))
will see the humor in these castings.

One of my jobs is as an adaptive aquatics instructor; i.e., I teach cognitively disabled people how to swim.  A few weeks ago, while I was conducting a class, with the pool filled with other classes and the deck lined with spectators, parents, etc., I jumped out of the pool and my swim suit, ravaged by years of being submerged in hyper-chlorinated water, completely disintegrated in the front, and my towel was way at the opposite end.  So there I was, trying to hold close what little flaps of material, along with my dignity, was left to get to it.  All I could say to the laughing-hysterically fellow staff members was:  "I feel like a has-been seventies' porn star."

Gerard
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on March 18, 2007, 11:51:17 PM
so Gerard, are you cute?
 ;D   ::)
can we see some pics of you in your trunks?


David
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: MsCriseyde on March 19, 2007, 12:11:45 AM
Seen it
Definitely one of the more bizarre DS-related get-togethers I've been a part of.  ;D

Yeah, we were watching to see the interiors of Seaview. That's the ticket.  >:D
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: CrazyJenny on March 19, 2007, 12:21:18 AM
One year when some friends and I went to Seaview, we found a discarded dvd on the lawn.  The person that took it home discovered that it was a porno.  I don't think it was the one Seaview is featured in, but its still funny.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Elmont on March 19, 2007, 12:51:40 AM
I love the cast of Deep Shadows but we're forgetting an important character. How about Linda Lovelace as Abigail Collins.

"Aaaarrrrrroooooo"!!!
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Gerard on March 19, 2007, 01:16:44 AM
can we see some pics of you in your trunks?

What trunks?  There's nothing left of them!

Gerard
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on March 19, 2007, 02:16:01 AM
RE: Linda Lovelace as Abigail:
and Jamie Gillis as Trask!

David

PS Gerard, then I absolutely want to see pics!
WOOF!
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Midnite on March 19, 2007, 02:18:15 AM
so Gerard, are you cute?
 ;D   ::)

Yes.  Yes, he is.  :D
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Gerard on March 19, 2007, 03:21:43 AM
Aw, shucks - thank you, Midnite!  If anyone wants to see, just look through the old archives of my photos from the 2003 Brooklyn DS Fest.  Fully clothed, of course.

Gerard
Title: Re: Just Imagine.......Deep Shadows, rated XXX
Post by: Brian on March 20, 2007, 01:21:44 AM
Ron Jeremy as Prof Stokes
Well, there was a time--not long after DS left the air I guess--when the "extraordinary" Mr. Jeremy was thin as a rail, more like a Quentin than a Stokes.  Perhaps his, umm, unusual girth in his youth somehow translates into a somewhat portly Stokes--we just don't know where the portly comes from.  (Did I really say that?  Are we even really talking about this stuff?  Well, yes.)

LOL.

Brian 
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Brian on March 20, 2007, 01:26:42 AM
While we're sorta on the topic:  has anyone ever actually seen "The Minx"?"  I believe it was sort of a quasi-porn film, with Robert Rodan.  How much of Mr. Rodan was on display, I wonder.  ;)

Brian
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on March 20, 2007, 03:08:04 AM
The Minx is available on VHS & DVD thru Something Weird Video.
Made in 1969, it was typical of the films that were released right before the hardcore era~~lots of nudity but no sex.

Rodan is seen naked in the film.
And he was nice looking at the time!

David
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: MsCriseyde on March 20, 2007, 06:39:33 AM
And he was nice looking at the time!
Frankly, I think he's even better looking now than he was in his younger days.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on May 09, 2007, 12:55:00 AM
 ;D
8)

OK, reviving this thread with an absolutely insane idea for a porno movie:

Bambi Woods in:
Debbie Does Collinwood!!

With Vanessa Del Rio as Debbie's gynecologist:
Dr. Julia Hoffman!

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

David
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Mysterious Benefactor on May 09, 2007, 02:55:32 AM
With Vanessa Del Rio as Debbie's gynecologist:
Dr. Julia Hoffman!

Not the Mistress of Mastu... Well, what an, uh, interesting choice. It's certainly not because she fits Grayson Hall's body type.  [wink2]
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on May 09, 2007, 05:21:15 AM
Actually, MB, Gloria Leonard is the one porn queen who most closely matches Grayson's
type.
But the thought of Del Rio in anything to do with DS was too funny to resist!!

I wonder if our fellow cousins
are shocked by our vast porn knowledge!!

David

Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Mysterious Benefactor on May 09, 2007, 06:06:36 AM
But the thought of Del Rio in anything to do with DS was too funny to resist!!

Um, you've got that right!  ^-^

Quote
I wonder if our fellow cousins are shocked by our vast porn knowledge!!

No one who knows me would be.  :D


I'm still wondering if Harry Reems will be shaving his trademark mustache or will that film be introducing it as a new Barnabas trademark?  [wink2]
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on May 09, 2007, 07:25:03 AM
 ;D
I think the Harry Reems/Marilyn Chambers take on Barnabas and Angelique would have to be set in Martinique, so we could see the rolling around naked on the beach, f~~~~~~ their brains out!

YOWSA!

David
Title: shame on me!
Post by: David on May 09, 2007, 08:51:17 AM
 ::)
 ;D

Maybe Mistress Del Rio could assist Barnabas in the beating of Willie!

David
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: sheenasma on May 09, 2007, 12:42:03 PM
Well if you really want a one time porno queen who would have that Grayson look, I would say to go with Sharon Mitchell.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Gothick on May 09, 2007, 03:54:53 PM
Gerard was very handsome in those photos from that Festival.

I can imagine he'd look quite yummy, in or out of trunks!

As for porno, I thought one of the funniest lines in the Cheep Productions video "Save our Cemeteries" was when Julia tells Barnabas that Count Petofi is going to bulldoze Eagle Hill cemetery and open a peepshow on the property!

My favorite 70s porno is "Seven in a Barn."  David, I would think that that would be MUCH more your cup of cappucino.  I haven't seen the other films referenced in this thread and I do not understand why everyone keeps mentioning Ron Jeremy--I saw him in something in the laundromat a couple of years ago and the man looks and talks like a pigsty!

G.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Mysterious Benefactor on May 09, 2007, 04:09:26 PM
I saw him in something in the laundromat a couple of years ago

They show porn in laundromats nowadays? How progressive.  [bigok]  I'm thinking I might forgo the ease of doing clothes in my own washer/dryer and check out the local laundromats instead!  ;D
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Gothick on May 09, 2007, 04:42:25 PM
MB, dahling, you are TOO funny.

The Jeremy creature was on some "reality" TV show (we really need a new word to convey just what these programs present--it's nothing like the form of "reality" I know!).  There were some other washed-up "celebrities" in attendance as well; I think that Tammy Faye Bakker and a hideously bloated and aged Erik Estrada were among them.

G.
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: Mysterious Benefactor on May 09, 2007, 04:48:42 PM
The Jeremy creature was on some "reality" TV show

I figured the Surreal Life was the show were talking about - but I just couldn't resist the joke.  >:D

Quote
(we really need a new word to convey just what these programs present--it's nothing like the form of "reality" I know!).

Indeed.  ::)
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: David on May 09, 2007, 04:58:14 PM
 ;D

Dear Gothick:

the thought of Ron Jeremy as Stokes is hilarious, though maybe Jeremy's personality is better suited to Sandor (the character, not the boards cousin!!!!)

For strictly self-pleasuring purposes, J. Brian's
Seven in A Barn or Boys in the Sand is more what floats my boat.
But for the purposes of this thread, can you
seriously imagine Casey Donavan as Angelique, beautiful blonde bombshell that he was?

Of course, Donavan & Al Parker could have enacted a scene in which Tom Jennings earns a little extra cash in Nick Blair's basement!

David
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: MsCriseyde on May 09, 2007, 05:38:20 PM
I figured the Surreal Life was the show were talking about - but I just couldn't resist the joke.  >:D

(we really need a new word to convey just what these programs present--it's nothing like the form of "reality" I know!).

Indeed.  ::)
One thing I do like about VH1's "reality" shows it that they do sort of wink at the notion that they are real, hence the title Surreal Life and their reference to their particular brand of shows as "celebreality."

To bring this back to DS, I know someone a while back who was making a concerted effort to contact VH1 to get them to invite a certain former DS child actor to be on the show, someone who would be recognized primarily for a certain film.  ;D
Title: Re: Collinwood in a Porno Movie?????
Post by: DLA75 on May 15, 2007, 06:25:00 AM
Traci Lords as Hallie Stokes she find another use of the Playroom for her and David. What would the Ghost of Gerard Stiles think?