"ghosts have needs"
"Wille's home improvement tools consisted of: a roll of duct tape, 3 dented nails & a staple gun"
"they were redoing the interior to resemble Pee Wee's Playhouse"
"the portrait over the fireplace had once again been changed, this time to a Velvet Elvis painting"
"Willie was standing in the middle of the Drawing Room, naked as the day he was born, rubbing jewels over his body"
"Barnabas wears bunny slippers"