...do the Wango Tango...

...play parallel time dress-up...

...have a competitive eating contest with Sebastian as the judge...

...draw endless boring comparisons to the "other" Roxanne...

...pick out fabric swatches for a new sofa at The Old House...

Barnabas "helping"? What a laugh that was!!!!!!!!!!!!

...'Where'd I park my bulldozer? This will be a great spot for one of those super shopping malls!!'

...'Where's Daphne? She needs to quit sulking and start cleaning this mess up!!'

...some drunk girl named Carrie (who looks just like me, except she wears orange dresses) had caused the damage to all the toilets on the second floor.

...ask your "lady friends" not to use the main entrance to Collinwood.

...put up your pet raccoon Rocky whenever you retire for the evening. He keeps scratching at my door!

...quit trying to sell me your extra cemetery plots. You don't own those. I do!

...quit whistling songs from The Sound Of Music at all hours of the day and night. I get those songs stuck in my head for the entire week!!

...using a sextant in a fashion no one could have ever imagined. (As she had completely misunderstood its function.)

...teaching an Astronomy merit badge class to a small group highly attentive of boy scouts.

...who is your liability insurance carrier at the present time?!

...why your breath smells like a camel's behind?!

...why you insist on calling me "Super B."?!

...the group of naked girls that had followed him home from the Oktoberfest bash...

...his math homework on fire...

...the mail-order ninja he'd recruited to be his bodyguard...

...Mrs Johnson finally vacuuming after a 4 year lull...

...the booby-trapped birthday present he'd set to explode for Hallie...