Go ahead and tell, Connie. You might as well...you know we'll learn the dark, disturbing truth at some point anyway.

Damn, girl...you got enough secrets to be an honorary member of the Collins family.

(W)hen did her buppies (as my Granny called them) get that big??...I do remember being surprised that Grayson could fill out that bikini top in End of the Road.

And you all scoffed when I had a vaguely erotic dream about Julia! Obviously, my subconscious knew something the rest of us didn't...

Thus spoke Misty:

Are you sure you have never written for TV??

Not lately...but ya never know about the future. If I'm very, very lucky...maybe.

Sayeth VAM:

Maybe that could be the new DS movie and Scout can be commissioned for the script -  BOOGIE NIGHTS IN MARTINIQUE

Maybe we won't have to wait for a movie--but we definitely have to wait for the 1795 storyline to be shown again; after all, it wouldn't be a comment on what is happening on the show now, but rather it would fall into the sticky area of fan fiction--which I would never post in this forum.

Bob_The_Bartender stood behind the bar at the Blue Whale and said:

A discussion of Dark Shadows and "honey pot happiness." I think that I've seen it all now.

Hey...all I had Barnabas doing was painting Angelique's toenails!

Glad to have you on board, Afan...

I have a friend who has the very same type of letter opener that Joe Haskell used in his lame suicide attempt.

My friend says that letter opener could barely cut melted butter, much less do any damage to a human being...

Good work, Joe!

I'm not surprised my friend has the same letter opener; he reminds me a lot of Nicky Blair.

Is that a bad thing?

"Keep that tongue working, Barnabas!"

What is this?! Dark Shadows or Boogie Nights?!

INT/HOUSE BY THE SEA-NIGHT

(ANGELIQUE lounges on a big comfy divan in her flowing white gown. BARNABAS COLLINS kneels down before her, looking more disheveled than immaculate--puncture marks are on his neck.)

BARNABAS: I cannot believe that I have been reduced to this.

(Angelique looks down, making sure that Barnabas is doing a good job of painting her toenails.)

ANGELIQUE: You're doing a lovely job, my dear. And if you would have just done this occasionally when we were married, everyone you love would have lived long and happy lives.

BARNABAS: Really?

ANGELIQUE: Everyone but Joshua and Abigail...but, no--you couldn't get your mind off fragile little Josette. So now everybody's dead.

BARNABAS: All because I wouldn't paint your toenails in 1795?

ANGELIQUE: I was never really very good with rejection. Obviously. You know...the whole killing-your-family-and-cursing-you-to-walk-the-night-for-eternity thing.

BARNABAS: I wish I would have never come here tonight.

ANGELIQUE: Like Nicky didn't know your little dinner party wasn't just a lame excuse to get him out of the house...

BARNABAS: My plotting skills have went to mush since I've been cured of my affliction.

ANGELIQUE: They were never that good to begin with, my dear.

BARNABAS: Why can't you take up with Jeff Clark?

ANGELIQUE: I did for a while. But he tasted funny. And Joe Haskell just isn't foppish enough.

BARNABAS: How could he be? He isn't a Collins man.
ANGELIQUE: By the way, Barnabas...I have set a terrifying plan in motion to keep your friend, Julia Hoffman, busy for quite a while.

BARNABAS: What have you done?

ANGELIQUE: Like everything else I do, it's evil while at the same time fairly pointless. You see, I've recruited two girls from New Jersey. They will constantly hound the good doctor, claiming to be representatives of the telephone company. They will say that the doctor owes them money. She will say that they are full of shit.

BARNABAS: Well...it makes as much sense as the frickin' Dream Curse.

ANGELIQUE: Quiet, you! Now go out to the kitchen and fix me a Long Island Iced Tea.

BARNABAS (pained): Oh, why?  Why must I spend eternity trapped as your--

ANGELIQUE: Man-bitch?

(Barnabas heaves a defeated sigh as he heads for the kitchen. Angelique stretches out on the divan, content and victorious.)

ANGELIQUE: Dear Barnabas...he'll come around and love me. Even if it kills us both. Oh, wait...it already did.

(Angelique breaks into diabolical laughter.)

END