Barnabas Collins: My Life on the V-List

[Brandon Collins]

Tonight I was thinking: what if, in the fictional world of Dark Shadows, the Collins family attracted as much attention as the Hilton family, or as Brangelina, and someone approached them with an idea for a reality show. What would that idea be, and who would the show revolve around?

Would it showcase Liz running the household and trying to keep all the maids from eavesdropping and making them actually do their job? Would it follow Angelique and her latest plot to infiltrate the Collins family and take Collinwood for her own? (Wouldn't that be interesting ) Could it possibly follow Barnabas and the secret, inner-workings of his plan to make a new bride in the image of Josette. Or maybe it would center on Julia and her constant pining for Barnabas, and her coming up with the latest way to become more involved with him. Possibly Willie would be the focus, and we'd get to see all the behind-the-scenes workings of just how he completed all those tasks for Barnabas. Maybe it could be a show centered on Maggie Evans and it could be a Top Chef type of show...only in a diner.

And finally, the one that actually made me laugh out loud when I thought of it:

The Rise and Fall of Victoria Winters: I Don't Understand.

Any thoughts, ideas, comments?

[markyboo]

  Brandon, I love your idea!

Some other DS-related reality shows:

COLLINSPORT IDOL: Who is America's favorite singer in Collinsport, Maine? Bruno Hess is your host & helping you make your selection is a qualified panel of judges: Prof. T. Eliot Stokes (always helping you keep it real!), Pansy Faye & notorious, hard-to-please Nicholas Blair. We are down to the final two contestants: Victoria Winters & Josette DuPres who will each deliver this year's Idol ballad, "I Don't Understand!"

THE AMAZING RACE THROUGH TIME: Follow teams of two players as they race through different eras of Collinsport history to reach their final destination & receive a million dollars. This season's fan favorites look to be Barnabas Collins & Julia Hoffman. Other interesting teams: Elizabeth Stoddard & Jason MacGuire...Carolyn Stoddard & Buzz Hackett...Quentin Collins I & Samantha Collins (hoping to save their crumbling marriage or will those marital problems hurt their game?)...Willie Loomis & Adam...

SURVIVOR:WINDWARD ISLAND: 20 Collinsport inhabitants are left stranded on Windward Island. Which of these 20 will be the ultimate survivor to survive 40 days? Hosted by Amazon Jungle expert, Burke Devlin ! The contestants will compete in tasks such as being buried alive or finding the head of Judah Zachary (also this season's immunity idol!). Each episode ends with a tribal council where a survivor will be voted off & immediately join Laura Collins in her phoenix flames! Then their ghosts will sit on a jury that will eventually select the ultimate survivor. Already present on the jury: Rev. Trask, Jeremiah Collins, Nathan Forbes, Ruby Tate , Maude Browning & Suki Forbes. Will Barnabas & Quention maintain their alliance to reach the final two slots or will Quentin betray Barnabas & join the Petofi-Angelique alliance?

THE APPRENTICE: Want to help Roger Collins run a Fortune 500 Company? Twelve contestants compete for this honor in a series of assignments that test their business acumen & skills! Applying for the apprenticeship are the following : Willie Loomis...Buzz Hackett...Cassandra Blair...Harry Johnson...Victoria Winters...Ben Stokes...Jebez Hawkes...Burke Devlin...Maggie Evans...

[Brandon Collins]

OMG!!! I about DIED laughing when I saw that Judah's head was going to be the immunity idol! HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Mysterious Benefactor]

markyboo, those are too funny!    And Willie and Adam teaming up on THE AMAZING RACE THROUGH TIME - they'd probably kill each other before the first commercial break.