Lamar Trask: Dark Shadows' Own 40-Year-Old Virgin

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Hey gang,

Whenever I pop in one of the 1840 dvds into the player and see poor, pathetic (not to mention boring as all heck) Lamar Trask profess his unrequited love for Roxanne Drew, I almost wish that Dan Curtis had instructed the show's technical crew to play Engelbert Humperdink's (sp?) seminal hit, "The Man Without Love," in the background.

I mean, Lamar has all of the "personality" of the late, former President Calvin Coolidge; the man, whom, when writer Dorothy Parker was told of his death, asked, "How could they tell?"

Maybe Lamar could have tried to brighten up his rather drab attire by getting some new clothes at wherever Laszlo-the-Gypsy  purchased (or, more likely, stole) his snazzy threads.

Then again, perhaps Lamar could have looked a bit younger if he tried some of that Just For Men Hair Dye (or even Just For Men Touch of Gray) to achieve a twenty/even thirty-something look?

If all else failed, maybe the love-starved Lamar might have signed up for the 19th century equivalent of the e.harmony.com dating service?  (Can you imagine a prospective date, reviewing Lamar's personal profile in some journal?  Oy vey! I think that that woman would even rather have a date with the big, dumb and drunken slug, who helped Desmond Collins remove that cross in Judah Zachary's tomb.)

I guess all that was left for an ascetic, humorless (not to mention set-in-his-ways) bachelor like Lamar Trask was to take long, solitary walks along Widow's Hill, followed by a "refreshing" cold shower back at the Trask Memorial Chapel?

[Mysterious Benefactor]

A perfect summation of poor Lamar. And just trying to picture him in clothes similar to Laszlo's has me

Another in your long line of winning posts, BtB. 

[Taeylor Collins]

Thank you BOB! I needed that good hearty laugh! I have just finished watching 1840 and I have to say Lamar is the most pathetic of all the Trask's! HE also is just so gross.  He gives me the heebie jeebies. Excuse the frankness but Lamar struck me as someone who may liked the dead more than any of us realize if you get my drift!   I tried to find the puking face smiley but couldn't.  So...BARF!  I also always thought Gregory molested women and possible children. There seemed to be some subtext going on with Gregory. I don't know if the writers had that in mind but they way Jerry played him seemed to suggest that to me.  What a lovely family....

One of the best things about DS is that they took the REVERENDS and turned them into the villians, which is very true to life in many cases. I am not saying all preachers, reverends or ministers are fake and evil but many of them are as we have learned over the years.

[Lydia]

Yes, I was thinking just yesterday, as I watched episode 1133, how unappealing Lamar is.  Reverend Trask from 1795, whatever his personality defects might have been, looked young and healthy.  Reverend Gregory Trask from 1897, whatever his personality defects might have been (not to mention the personality defects that obviously were, and no "might" about it) had a certain smoothness.  Lamar, however, makes me wonder what sort of bugs are hiding in his hair.  Oh, how I longed to see Tony Peterson again!

[Taeylor Collins]

I also meant to mention the original Trask. He was a total idiot and a fanatic charlatan but he just didn't make me feel like I needed to go take a shower after watching him. Lamar and Gregory always do. Shutter...

[MagnusTrask]

The worse a Trask is, the better he is.   A Trask ought to repel.   I enjoy Lamar, he's creepy, always about to blow his lid off because he has no outlets for his creepy needs, whatever all of them might be, and therefore he's funny.

[Taeylor Collins]

I didn't mean to come across as not liking them.  I do like the Trask family and cannot imagine the show without them.  They just make me feel grimey...that is all. However, that is a good thing. When art can make you feel grimey then it's good!

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Taeylor Collins,

I hear you on your excellent point about the members of the Trask family making Dark Shadows fans feel slimy, sort of like slowing down in your car to watch the aftermath of a terrible accident or, more likely, watching "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" on the E Channel. 

As everyone has pointed out, the original Rev. Trask was essentially a "somewhat" overwrought zealot in pursuit of witches and warlocks (even if the "good" reverend did  suborn Nathan Forbes' perjury during Vicky's witchcraft trial).  At least, the Rev. Trask appeared to be a (relatively) happily and faithfully married man unlike his "randy" descendant, the Rev. Gregory Trask.

Incidentally, we know that Lamar "Casanova" Trask was Rev. Trask's son.  However, Lamar must have had other siblings for the Trask family to have "flourished" into the late 19th century.  It's too bad that we never got to see Gregory Trask's mom and dad.  (They must have positively been the "Ozzie & Harriet of  New England," don't you think?)

I personally think that the Rev. Gregory Trask was the biggest stinker in the Trask family tree.  In addition to being an unbelievable religious hypocrite as the "Tartuffe of Dark Shadows" (just how many women did he hit on: Rachel Drummond, Dorcas Trilling, Amanda Harris, not to mention all of those lonely widows in his congregation?), the guy had all of the "moral fiber" of  the late, unlamented Rev. Jim Jones.   

And, what of Parallel Time 1970 Collinwood butler "Mr. Trask"?  That poor guy was so nervous and fidgety, that he made Deputy Barney Fife seem like "Dirty Harry" Callahan by comparison!  So far as we know, Angelique Stokes-Collins was the only woman for whom Mr. Trask ever "lusted in his heart" for.  Although, I venture to say that while pianist Bruno Hess actually hit a home run with Quentin Collins' "beloved" wife,  poor, sadsack Mr. Trask struck out with the bat on his shoulder when it came to the so-called "Mesalina of Collinwood."

Finally, you know how we eventually found out that the Jennings kids were actually members of the Collins family?  Well, what if it turned out that Buzz Hackett was a longlost member of the Trask family?   What would the Rev. Gregory Trask have made of that THAT joyous news?  He'd probably exclaim in horror: "Beam me up, Minera!!!"

[Taeylor Collins]

Excellent post BOB! Very nice thoughts in ther particularly the last one.  That would be a cool fan fiction to find out that Buzz was the descendatn of Trask! HEE HEE

Enjoyed your post too GERARD! I always thought that Cassandra was made to look Serenish. I had heard that Elizabeth Montgomery was fan of DS, does anyone know if that is true. I don't want to get this off topic but just curious!

[Mysterious Benefactor]

It's too bad that we never got to see Gregory Trask's mom and dad.  (They must have positively been the "Ozzie & Harriet of  New England," don't you think?)

If they were, how hugely disappointed in their son they must have been - not to mention constantly asking themselves where they went wrong with him?

It would actually be both fascinating and frightening to learn how Gregory Trask became the person he was in 1897...

And, what of Parallel Time 1970 Collinwood butler "Mr. Trask"?  That poor guy was so nervous and fidgety, that he made Deputy Barney Fife seem like "Dirty Harry" Callahan by comparison!

 

So far as we know, Angelique Stokes-Collins was the only woman for whom Mr. Trask ever "lusted in his heart" for.  Although, I venture to say that while pianist Bruno Hess actually hit a home run with Quentin Collins' "beloved" wife,  poor, sadsack Mr. Trask struck out with the bat on his shoulder when it came to the so-called "Mesalina of Collinwood."

Perhaps she gave Trask some pity sex. Or better yet and more like her, she had sex with him simply to make one of her other lovers jealous. 

[Taeylor Collins]

I always thought it was cool that a TRASK was reduced to a servant of the COLLINS family in PT.  I just wish that we would have seen more of him.   Angelique apparently had sex with everyone in Parallel Time. I personally thought their were lesbian undertones between she and Hoffman.  I know we had someone recently say something's about there not being any gay subtext in DS but I found it in several storylines whether it was meant to be there or it was me reading into it. Didn't mean to get off track just wanted to add to that about Butler Trask.

BOB, I just love when you post. I am too sure your busy to post a lot but when you do post it's a wonderful treat. YOU always have me laughing! Thanks BOB!  Now bring me that cosmo I asked for...

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Thanks, T C,

Along with the superb and redoubtable triumvirate of Midnite, Mysterious Benefactor and Dom, there are so many wonderful cousins here on the Dark Shadows Forums, including Gerard, Magnus Trask, Annie, Janet, a poster named Taeylor Collins, Lydia, Gothick, Mark Rainey, the long-too-absent Raineypark and Ringo Collins, and so many other insightful, witty and wickedly funny cousins to list.  

Bob

[MagnusTrask]

Thank you, Bob!  Reciprocated!

[Mysterious Benefactor]

I personally thought their were lesbian undertones between she and Hoffman.  I know we had someone recently say something's about there not being any gay subtext in DS but I found it in several storylines whether it was meant to be there or it was me reading into it.

No, it was definitely there - as it was in the original Rebecca. (The DVD of which I wouldn't own if I only watched films that are less than 15 years old because, gasp, it's over 70 years old!!)

[Taeylor Collins]

Fabulous fabulous movie which I only watched recently! I absolutely adored it.  And yes I felt that the lesbian undertones were in the movie as well MB!