Lol ^_^

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 . . . but to find __ Marvin the Martian _ there!!"

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 . . . but to find __ Eli Whitney __ there!!"

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 . . . but to find __ baked beans with corn __ there!!"

Feeding Bob the Bartender’s Mogwai after midnight while the bar was closed.

 . . . his __ personal sex-ritary

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sardine girl escort for the canneries big parties

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ventriloquism dummy for the Annual Collinsport Lack of Talent Show

I would imagine at some point Barnabas would have gotten forged paperwork and opted to be a US citizen just to have fewer hoops to jump through. 

He might have done (or had done for him) some money laundering related to his jewels too.  Perhaps paying himself through a company that only existed on paper. 

I imagine all the characters would signup just in case they loose there riches.  Thought I doubt Barnabas was thoughtful for Willie’s work info, not that his previous drifter con artist stuff helps much either.

Out of all the characters he’d have the hardest time getting Medicare.

Eyebrow Raising Competition

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Mausoleum Raising (Building)

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Eddie Haskell Lookalike contest

 . . . To Serve Man

Joe:  I love the way your hair smells like Spic and Span.

Sam:  The service is so slow today they should call this place the Blue Snail.

Burke:  Sam, it’s been closed for 10 minutes already.