"Quentin, George Michael" and an "illegally parked vehicle "
"Barnabas, 2 underaged Sailor Moon cosplayers" and a "stolen video tape"
"Edward, a toaster" and a "trip to the doctor for a mysterious burn on a sensitive body part"
"Quentin, Quentin's underpants" and a "group of visiting tourists that are now sueing the city of Collinsport & the state of Maine"