Off With His Head Or Don't Do Drugs!

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

Let's get this straight, Barnabas (with the "help" of the esteemed Dr. Lang) will remove Jeff Clark's head and place it on the new body for Barnabas.  So, Barnabas/Jeff Clark shows up at Collinwood (now weighing in at about 240 lbs., and standing-up straight at about six-foot-five), and Miss Vicky is NOT supposed to notice anything different about this guy?  I know that Vicky is usually naive and ingenuous, but this really strains credulity!!!

When the Dark Shadows writers conceived this particular plotline, were they tripping out on tabs of sunshine?  (Tabs of Sunshine - a term for LSD for all of you Dark Shadows fans who were not yet a gleam in your father's eyes back during the swinging Sixties.)

During the course of two episodes, Dr. Lang anesthesized Jeff a total of three, count 'em, THREE times!  Poor Jeff must have had the grandfather of all hangovers as he was "coming down" the next day!

As an unabashed fan of Lang & Clark, I just loved their dialogue today:

Dr. Lang: "Jeff, give me that knife (scalpel)."  

Jeff C.: "Yeah, I'll give you the knife, doctor, right between your ribs!"

Dr. Lang: "Jeff, let me give you a treatment for your problem."

Jeff C.: "Yeah, doctor, THE treatment!"

Another example of Lang & Clark's classic comedic schtick for everyone to enjoy!

Sincerely,

Bob the Bartender

PS Jeff C.: "Dr. Hoffman, you've got to believe me that Dr. Lang wants to cut off my head."

Dr, H.: (In a moment of inner dialogue) "Jeff, you're #@*%ing crazy!!!"

[Craig_Slocum]

That reminds me Bob, after my little girl's father watched all of my Dark Shadows tapes from beginning to end, he kept saying, the writers must have been coked out or something during certain storylines. I remember those Tabs Of Sunshine. Something of the sort was still around in my highschool daze in 1980.  The dialogue between Jeff Clark and Dr. Lang was pretty amusing. I honestly don't think Jeff Clark's head would look good on that body, it's not the right proportion for a body that size. I wonder if Vicki would scream!

[Daphne]

Why don't they just use *all of him*?? He would look insane atop that weird body thing......just use all of Jeff, but gas him first or something, lol.....

Tabs of Sunshine........that's funny. I think that's gonna b a new sn....hehehee *evil laugh*

[Cassandra]

During the course of two episodes, Dr. Lang anesthesized Jeff a total of three, count 'em, THREE times!  Poor Jeff must have had the grandfather of all hangovers as he was "coming down" the next day!

That's funny Bob!!  I was thinking the same thing. And yet, each time Jeff regained conciousness, he seemed to have the energy of a raging bull!! I wonder what else was added to those "shots?"

[DSWayne]

Cassandra,

I thought the same thing. Each time Jeff came out.. he was more awake and alert than he was the first time. I think he was developing a habit right in front of us!

[VAM]

I honestly don't think Jeff Clark's head would look good on that body, it's not the right proportion for a body that size. I wonder if Vicki would scream!

Craig_Slocum,
Don't you think Harry Johnson would be the perfect candidate?

[Luciaphile]

Let's get this straight, Barnabas (with the "help" of the esteemed Dr. Lang) will remove Jeff Clark's head and place it on the new body for Barnabas.  So, Barnabas/Jeff Clark shows up at Collinwood (now weighing in at about 240 lbs., and standing-up straight at about six-foot-five), and Miss Vicky is NOT supposed to notice anything different about this guy?  I know that Vicky is usually naive and ingenuous, but this really strains credulity!!!

Not only that, but the "new" Barnabas is going to have Jeff's head which looks perfectly proportionate on his body, but don't you think that when reattached to the new body, he's going to look like pinhead?



Luciaphil

[Raineypark]

Yes, Luciaphil, he would certainly LOOK like a pinhead....but at least that would constitute "truth in advertising", wouldn't it?

Rainey, who wonders.....Exactly how many facilities for the insane can a small seaport village like Collinsport have?  As many as they NEEDED, apparently!  

[Blue_Whale_Barfly]

It's amazing how we can go from the 1795 storyline to this dreck in a matter of a couple of weeks.  Well, at least we have bad acting to go along with a bad storyline.  What else could you ask for? Except for Roger Davis to touch his hair again.

[Craig_Slocum]

No way VAM! Harry Johnson would never be a candidate, red hair would never go with that body, and it would still be out of proportion.

[CastleBee]

...but don't you think that when reattached to the new body, he's going to look like pinhead?

Pinhead...haaaaaaaaa! How true and how easy to picture when you put it that way.  Too funny!  This whole head on another body thing reminds me of when I used to take the various heads off my Barbie's (and the other off brand Barbie wannabee dolls whose heads were ususally larger than the average Barbie) and interchange them just to see how it would look.  I can't imagine why it didn't dawn on Dr. Repeat-Everything-Twice that he could just transfer Barns life force to an in tact Jeff Clark.  What kind of a freak life force transfer school did he graduate from any way?

[Raineypark]

Cheryl.....what has the size of that body got to do with Red Hair?

I know a 6'5" kilt-wearing Scotsman with hair like the Olympic Torch who'd be curious to know.......?!  ?!?

Rainey

[Craig_Slocum]

Rainey, observe future eps when Harry Johnson and that body, are in the same scenes together. Red hair and the head size just wouldn't go. Not even in a mad scientist's wildest dreams!

[ROBINV]

I really don't think Vicki Winters was THAT out of it--she surely would have noticed a big difference between "her" Jeff and this suddenly very tall, muscular man with Jeff's head sewn on top of the very broad shoulders!

Really, Vicki wasn't quite THAT messed up, was she?

Hoping against hope,
Love, Robin

[Dr. Eric Lang]

I can't imagine why it didn't dawn on Dr. Repeat-Everything-Twice that he could just transfer Barns life force to an in tact Jeff Clark.  What kind of a freak life force transfer school did he graduate from any way?

I find myself asking this question as well. Aside from the obvious fact that this storyline is an unabashed rip-off of Frankenstein, why does Dr. Lang need to piece together an entirely new body from various body parts of different people? Couldn't he find one solid corpse to use? The only justification I could come up with for this is that it was necessary for Lang to create a new being in order to insure it had no previous life force; perhaps if he tried to do his experiment on a whole corpse, that person's life force would have been restored.
?!?