Hey gang,
When I first saw Count Petofi pull off the old "switcheroo" with Quentin way back in 1969, I really could not relate to Quentin's predicament.
Nevertheless, with the passage of nearly thirty-four years, I now have a different "perspective" on Quentin's superannuated state. Here, then, are ten change of life "adjustments," that Quentin is likely to experience:
-1- You no longer order those sleek and stylish gabardine trousers from the Lands' End catalog, rather you now opt for a pair of those infinitely more practical (not to mention comfortable) polyester slacks with the s-t-r-e-t-c-h elastic waist from the Haband catalog.
-2- You can now fully relate to the pithy words of former Sen. Bob Dole, who decared in that memorable commercial: "It takes courage to talk about E.D."
-3- Instead of looking forward to receiving the next issue of Playboy Magazine in the mail, you now look forward to receiving the next issue of the AARP Modern Maturity Magazine in the mail.
-4- While you used to take great joy in bounding up and down that long, steep staircase in the foyer of the great house of Collinwood (with much elan, I might add!), you now give serious consideration to installing one of those extremely helpful electric stair-lifts in the Collinwood foyer.
-5- Now that you are sporting Count Petofi's long, flowing beard and will, no doubt, have to periodically trim those bushy whiskers, you will now also have to periodically trim all of those copious hairs, sprouting out of your one-hundred-and-fifty year old ears. (You might want to buy one of those Sharper Image Turbo-Groomer Nose and Ear Trimmers. They really work great!)
-6- Instead of remembering to splash on some Grey Flannel Cologne before leaving for a fun-filled evening at the Blue Whale Tavern, you now strive to remember to take your daily dose of Metamucil, before sauntering off to the checkers tournament at the Collinsport "Young At Heart" Senior Citizens Club.
-7- If you happen to "overdo" it with too many glasses of iced tea, you will now understand what former Vice President Al Gore was talking about, when, he spoke of taking frequent "bathroom breaks" during a prolonged White House meeting.
-8- Instead of packing for a wild and crazy trip of uninhibited, bacchanalian excess at the Sandals Resort and Spa at Negril Beach in Jamaica, you now look forward to packing for an Elder Hostel-sponsored trip to Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, to study the works of Joyce, Shaw and Wilde.
-9- While you used to enjoy a late-night snifter of brandy, as you listened to the evocative sounds of "Shadows Of The Night" on your grammophone player, you now enjoy a late-night glass of prune juice, as you listen to the melancholy sound of Frank Sinatra crooning "It Was A Very Good Year."
-10- When you take that increasingly longer siesta every afternoon, you will now take a nap just like the type that President Ronald Reagan used to enjoy in the Oval Office of the White House (specifically, a nap taken alone, and, most definitely, by yourself), and NOT the kind of "communal" nap, that other presidents have been rumored to have enjoyed in the Oval Office of the White House!
Can you think of any other change of life "adjustments," that Quentin is apt to experience in his new/old body?
Bob the Bartender, who thinks, that many of the celebrities at last night's Academy Awards telecast, are, no doubt, experiencing their own change of life "adjustments."
