Who knows? If Barnabas had told Patterson, "Yes, I kidnapped and terrorized Maggie, and killed a few people as well, but I was roaring drunk the whole time," perhaps the sheriff would have let him off with, "Boys will be boys. Next time, invite me!" The cows would have been a different matter, of course. "No, sir, you'll have to stand trial for killing Eb Haskell's favorite heifer. He was counting on it to win first prize at the Hancock County Fair."