that he loved his son even if he wanted to turn him into turtle food sometimes

a teapot and a candle holder

he spent a day at the Collinsport Luxury Spa

__ Sam and his masterful forgeries, he’s going to make us rich.   . . . Oh hey sheriff  . . . You didn’t hear that right?

^_^ That’s hilarious MagnusTrask and very creative!

——
Sam:  It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done.

Maggie: Cool it pops, you’re just talking out the trash.

^_^

I should’ve added a snarky reply from Maggie for added fun, but even now I can’t figure out the wording. 

Hehe thank you ^_^

——
Rodger:  I know it’s painful Liz, but we had to throw the last case of store bought mayonnaise.  It was four years out of date and Matthew couldn’t even keep it down when he tried it.

Hehe yeah.  Thanks

I think I was tempted to come up with a reply to the Sheriff, but figured something like “Why do you want to know?” Might not add anything to it. 
——
Sheriff Patterson:  Is that kick me sign standard business attire? 

Rodger:  No our Governess has the wit to encourage David by letting him play practical jokes if he’s spelled it right and his homework is done.