It was YOU!..
You "went number two" in my "room & tried to blame it on the dog! Admit the sin now to save your evil soul!"
You "broke my Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger action figures" in my "office & tried to crudely put them back together! Your hands glued together tells it all!"
You "got jiggy with it" in my "wedding ceremony, upset the entire family & destroyed 3 windows when you started swinging from the ceiling! You may have been wearing a disguise, Quentin, but I'd recognise those platform shoes anywhere!"