I disagree with you somewhat PennyDreadful, Gothick and James T. Kirk. I see Barnabas in a different light. We or I (which ever you want to take) see a vampire. Well anyone of us would have been cautions, secretive and I'm sure that every morning he probably cried himself to "sleep" hoping if not wondering that Willie didn't give him up to the police, or Roger and/or Burke "I'm the mayor of Collinsport" Devlin open up the coffin lid with a stake in one hand and a hammer in the other.
But when he is not a vampire any more, we or I (which ever you want to take) see a man. A caring, nobel, and yes, even a loving man. [spoiler]Even when he killed Carl, it seems to me that Quentin should have been, shall I say 'upset'.
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Angelique, well she's perfect. She knows what shes that for and is going to get 'it' one way or the other. Afterall, 'it' was promised to her. She will do "anything" to get it back.
Then there's Quentin. God love him. He too was mean, evil, and very selfish. But as he continued, we saw a man, like Barnabas, caring, noble and even a 'loving' man.
If I rambled on and on, I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry that I picture Barnabas in a different light. To me, that's what makes him sooooo differently.