« previous next »
Pages: 1 2 »   Go Down

Author Topic: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?  (Read 3140 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Bob_the_Bartender

  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 2079
  • Karma: +132/-3108
  • "Serenity is my favorite emotion."
    • View Profile
Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« on: July 09, 2002, 05:28:34 PM »
Dear fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

Today, a delighted Vicky greeted her fiance, Jeff, by asking him if he was sick,and that was why Jeff was not at his job.  "I'm lovesick," Jeff replied, in a cute and cloying sort of way.

You know, I got to wondering just where the mercurially magnificent Jeff Clark was gainfully employed in Collinsport?  Here are few ideas that I came up with:

1. Saleman at the men's clothing department at Brewster's Department Store.  ("I must say that that size-52, portly man's double-breasted suit fits you like a glove, Prof. Stokes.")

2.  Bartender trainee and bus boy at the Blue Whale Tavern.  ("Sure thing, Bob.  I'll make sure to clean both the men's and ladies' rest rooms before I leave tonight.")

3. Saleman and apprentice gemologist at Braithewaite's Jewelry Store.  ("I couldn't agree with you more, Mr. Braithewaite.  Let's hope that J. Edgar Hoover and his G-Men catch that dangerous gangster, John Dillinger, before he makes his way up here to New England.")

Can you think of any other jobs that Vicky's inamorata might be toiling at in the quaint New England village of Collinsport, ME?

Sincerely,

Bob the Bartender
Logged

Offline Raineypark

  • DSF God
  • *****
  • Posts: 2749
  • Karma: +13053/-14422
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2002, 05:36:37 PM »
Considering his previous work experience, I'd say butcher's apprentice at "Ye Olde Collinsport Market" would be an appropriate (albeit nauseating) possibility.

Raineypark
Logged
"Do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
Dylan Thomas

Offline TERRY308

  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 751
  • Karma: +595/-1674
  • Gender: Female
  • The real Mrs. Collins.
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2002, 05:58:49 PM »
I'm thinking the newspaper "The Collinsport Star".  He would probably be working in the circulation dept.  (I used to work in a newspaper for 5 years.  But I was a secretary)  

You know how it is in the circulation dept.  They work mostly at night, they get so dirty from papers from the store, Parade, the BIG T.V. guide.  

Yeah, Jeff would fit right in there.
Logged
Cassandra:  I have a potion.  You know it well.  As soon as she drinks it, within an hour, she will go to sleep and have the dream.
Nicholas:  I am much to talented to spend my time drugging drinks.

Offline Blue_Whale_Barfly

  • Full Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 169
  • Karma: +313/-201
  • What do you mean last call!
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2002, 06:20:17 PM »
And also given his "past work experience" I can see him as a law partner in that old Collinsport firm of Clueless, Dimwitted and How.
Logged

Offline Carol

  • * Fiction Filly *
    Full A ed Newest Fervor Post
  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 642
  • Karma: +18/-116
  • Gender: Female
  • New York Cat
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2002, 09:23:41 PM »
Maybe he's selling beach front time shares? ::)
Logged
carolinamooon

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream" - Edgar Allan Poe

Offline RingoCollins

  • Full A ed Newest Fervor Post
  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 612
  • Karma: +6/-164
  • Gender: Male
  • I think it was the trousers
    • View Profile
    • Fans On The Run
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2002, 09:48:35 PM »
I thought Jeff cleaned up at the Collinsport Barber College. ;D
Logged
We sing, we dance.....and we don't need pants!

Offline ROBINV

  • ** Robservationist **
  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 1173
  • Karma: +20/-1464
  • Gender: Female
  • The Write Stuff
    • View Profile
    • Personal site of Robin Vogel
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2002, 10:37:05 PM »
This one's obvious--grave-digger!

Love, Robin
Logged

Offline jennifer

  • Full A ed Newest Fervor Post
  • DSF God
  • *****
  • Posts: 2784
  • Karma: +541/-615
  • Gender: Female
  • we'll always love you Don!
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2002, 10:53:13 PM »
he is the announcer for the local baseball team no microphone needed!

jennifer
Logged
we are the champions!!!!
 2007 Boston Red Sox
PAV

Offline Tanis

  • Full Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 186
  • Karma: +6/-97
  • Gender: Female
  • I Love Dark Shadows
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2002, 01:09:45 AM »
Sells hair restorer.

Tanis
Logged
There are no strangers, only friends we've yet to meet.

Offline Lindsey

  • Full A ed Newest Fervor Post
  • Full Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 180
  • Karma: +5/-96
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2002, 03:22:47 AM »
Bob, I think a salesman at a department store is right on! I can just see him working there. Also, he reminds me of a shoe salesman.

Hey, since he is working in the clothing department--maybe he works at Orbachs! I am sure he is in charge of sending the highly fashionable clothes over to Collinsport!

"Oh I just know Maggie will ADORE this sleeping bag skirt!"

"And this beautiful butterfly dress fits Cassandra's happy, go-lucky personality perfectly!"

-Lindsey
Logged
"What is the truth?" 
"That I love you.  No matter how much I fight my feelings, I will always love you."
                          -Barnabas and Angelique 1840

Offline kuanyin

  • Full A ed Newest Fervor Post
  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 690
  • Karma: +9/-92
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2002, 05:07:10 AM »
You asked and three words popped into my cranium.

Fuller Brush Man   :P
Logged
"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly, rather than not at all." G.K. Chesterton

Offline Bob_the_Bartender

  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 2079
  • Karma: +132/-3108
  • "Serenity is my favorite emotion."
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2002, 05:46:17 AM »
Hey gang,

How about this highly respectable job for Jeff:

Process servor for Anthony R. Peterson, Esq.

"Excuse me, ma'am, are you Cassandra Collins, wife of Mr. Roger Collins?"

"Why, yes, I am.  And, aren't you Vicky Winters' hunky fiance, Jeff Clark?"

"Yes, I'm the very lucky guy who's engaged to Vicky.  By the way, this document is for you, Mrs. Collins."

"Divorce papers!!!  Why, I never thought that Liz Stoddard's baby brother would ever have the nerve.  What grounds is the poor slob using to divorce me?"

"Well, Mrs. Collins, your husband is filing for divorce on the grounds that you have committed bigamy.  It seems that you're still legally married to Roger's cousin, Barnabas Collins, whom you married back in 1795."

"But that was 173-years-ago!  The marriage still can't possibly be considered legal after all this time, can it?"

"Does Ezra Braithewaite take Metamucil religiously on a daily basis?  Now, you have a nice day, Mrs. Collins."


Logged

Offline Karen_#2

  • Junior Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 110
  • Karma: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • "WHOA CAMEL! WHOA!! When I say whoa, I mean WHOA!!
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2002, 07:52:02 AM »
Quote
Maybe he's selling beach front time shares? ::)


LOL!! With 50 foot retaining walls included  ;D
Logged
"The Collins blood always had a rather....persistant strength"                       Barnabas to Elizabeth  1967

Offline Bj

  • Junior Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 102
  • Karma: +1/-54
  • Gender: Male
  • I've always been quite fond of you, Liz...
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2002, 08:36:23 AM »
Every time I look at him, I think: male escort!  :o Well, if he isn't, he should be!  :D
Logged
Jason: "There's just one thing I don't understand..."
Willie: "I didn't do it -- I swear!"

Offline Cassandra

  • Full A ed Newest Fervor Post
  • Senior Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 2239
  • Karma: +152/-322
  • Gender: Female
  • I love DS!
    • View Profile
Re: Just What the Heck Is Jeff's Job?
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2002, 09:24:50 AM »
Self Employed Preacher with his own Television show called "S.H.O.U.T"  ( Screaming  Hollering  Obnoxious  Uncivilized Talking)   [argue]     [pain]  [scrm]

Also sells "Brillcreme" on the side. [silly]
Logged
"Calamity Jane"
Pages: 1 2 »   Go Up
« previous next »