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Author Topic: Not Guilty By Reason of......What??!!  (Read 964 times)

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Offline Raineypark

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Not Guilty By Reason of......What??!!
« on: July 02, 2002, 06:19:20 PM »
Isn't it heartwarming to know that Julia Hoffman has such a deep and abiding faith in the Criminal Justice system of the state of Maine?

Imagine....she can shoot Cassandra Collins like a mad dog in the road, and she's just CERTAIN that no one would ever convict her of murder if they ONLY KNEW what they know about the witch!!

Can you picture the trial?  Defense counsel calls Barnabas Collins to the stand to explain 200 years of Curses, Witchcraft, Voodoo Dolls, Portraits, Bats, The Living Dead (let's not forget Adam, The Dead Living!) and how this woman deserved to die for refusing to be a woman scorned.....?

Do you suppose Grayson walked off the set and slapped Sam for THAT scene?

Raineypark
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Offline RingoCollins

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Re: Not Guilty By Reason of......What??!!
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2002, 11:31:31 PM »
"The prosecution calls Nicholas Blair"

...removes his glove and places his hand upon the theological reference material - and crumbles into ashes, [like Wile E., after trying another ACME bomb]

**
"Case dismissed" as the Judge bangs the gavel.
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Offline scout75

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Re: Not Guilty By Reason of......What??!!
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2002, 01:11:49 AM »
INT/THE OLD HOUSE-NIGHT (of course...)
Julia walks over to the mantel and picks up the gun.

JULIA: I'm going to do what you don't have the guts to do, Barnabas. I'm gonna plug Angelique!

BARNABAS: Plug?

JULIA: 86. Pop. Snuff. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.

BARNABAS: Is that an incantation?

JULIA: I'm gonna kill that witch bitch, Barnabas!

BARNABAS: Oh. But what about your sworn oath and duty to preserve life?

JULIA (laughs bitterly): What about it? Listen, if the AMA ever catches up to me, I won't be able to run an illegal abortion clinic. Anyway, I've had it with Angelique. She's messed with my man for the last time.

BARNABAS (confused): Your...man?!

JULIA (annoyed): You, ya creepy mook!

BARNABAS (uncomfortably): Yes...yes, of course. I'm your..."man".

JULIA: What does it take with you? Maggie, Vickie, prim and proper Josette. You think they'd get involved in as many cover-ups and conspiracies as I have to save your 200-year old ass?!

BARNABAS: Perhaps not.

JULIA (mocking): Perhaps not. (checking the gun) I'm gonna pull that stupid wig off her head and write a goodbye note on the back of her vengeful little skull.

BARNABAS: My God, Julia! This is a side of you I've never seen...

JULIA: Yeah? Well, get used to it...(walking toward the door) Grab your cane and your cape, pretty boy. We're a-goin' back to Collinwood...

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BARNABAS: Here at Collinwood, old hates don't die. They lie in wait for the innocent and unsuspecting...

QUENTIN: We're guaranteed to make you believe (spells) exist. Our entire family can be explained in no other way...

Offline Daphne

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Re: Not Guilty By Reason of......What??!!
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2002, 07:18:04 PM »
rotflmaowtimes!!!! *wipes away tears* scout75.... omg ..... [peace] [roll3] *wipes away more tears* you crack me up sooooo hard!!!!!!!  ;D  8) [thumb]

~Daphne, in absolute hysterics
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Offline scout75

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Re: Not Guilty By Reason of......What??!!
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2002, 08:21:47 PM »
(patting Daphne's back) There, there...catch your breath.  Glad you like my bizarro world Barnabas & Julia. It would be fun to see her really take charge and start throwing shots at Angelique, wouldn't it?

Scout75
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BARNABAS: Here at Collinwood, old hates don't die. They lie in wait for the innocent and unsuspecting...

QUENTIN: We're guaranteed to make you believe (spells) exist. Our entire family can be explained in no other way...

Offline Raineypark

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Re: Not Guilty By Reason of......What??!!
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2002, 09:17:17 PM »
Daphne's right, scout75, your scene is absolutely hysterical [lghy].....

And a HUGE improvement over the original!   ;)

Raineypark
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"Do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
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