Shadowed Sightings

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

Here's an episode of the paranormal show, "Sightings," that I'd like to see:

"On this edition of 'Sightings':

Does a 237-year-old vampire still exist in the tiny coastal town of Collinsport, ME?  Join host Tim White and executive producer Henry "The Fonz" Winkler as they motorcycle into this quaint New England town to investigate claims of vampirism, witchcraft and time travel.

Mr. Winkler, in his Arthur Fonzarelli attire, will interview local resident (and yenta) Buzz Hackett about the eerie goings on in this quiet Maine town.  Mr. Hackett, a longtime friend of the prominent Collins family of Collinsport, will elucidate on the legend of the so-called 'Collins Curse,' and, answer the question, is the curse still in effect today?

Host Tim White will discuss the rumors of Satanic rites and, a still active coven of witches with noted local historian and academic, Prof. T. Elliot Stokes.

As an extra feature, famed ghost-hunter Peter James will attempt to communicate with the spirit of the good witch, Bathia Mapes, rumored to have suffered a fiery death at the hands of the most evil witch of the Colonial period.

Finally, 'Sightings' correspondent Carla Wohl will attempt to detemine if, in fact, local doctor Julia Hoffman is, as rumored, one the masked surgeons seen performing the medical examination on the so-called Roswell- Alien Autopsy Film.

Don't miss this riveting edition of 'Sightings'!"

And remember, no mystery is closed to an open mind.  Isn't that something like, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste"?  (I think that either Dirk Wilkins or Jeremy Grimes once said that.)

[Birdie]

Bob, thanks for the laughs.

Maybe I should have the "Sightings" crew here.  I see mysterious things floating around the corners of my living room.  I can see them now, hey lady those are dust bunnies, try cleaning.

Birdie--who now will get to the chores at hand.  Bring on the dust clothes.

[Happybat]

Very clever, Bob.  I love it!

[Dr. Eric Lang]

In order to make it realistic you have to have the most unreliable and questionable "witnesses" being interviewed for the segment. Thus, Harry Johnson will be the star witness in the piece, and his allegations will be supported and bolstered by the bartender at the Blue Whale and a couple of prostitutes down on the docks. Sheriff Patterson will deny the whole thing. The Collins family will issue a "no comment" statement.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Dear Brian 2,

Your point about Harry Johnson being the "key" "Sightings" witness to all of the occult occurences is right on.  However, I must take issue with you on your flippant disregard of Mr. Bob Rooney, owner and head bartender at the Blue Whale.

Mr. Rooney, I'll have you know, is, along with Judge Crathorne, one of the most upstanding citizins of Collinwood.  If Bob Rooney says something happened, you can make book on it.  Sure, Mr. Rooney believes in the existence of banshees and of the "wee" people, also known as leprechauns.  In fact, Bob contends that the Disney classic, "Darby O'Gill and the Little People" is the Gospel truth.  But Bob has never been known to tell a whopper to his customers during his many years as Collinsport's most popular bartender.

Sincerely,

Bob the Bartender, who asks the question, if Leeonard Nimoy disappeared, just who would go in search of him?

[Gerard]

I remember that episode on "Sightings" now, Bob.  It was an older one because they still had a Miss Cleo commercial where our favorite tarot-reading Jamaican lady from California was doing a psychic reading for Vicki Winters telling her that she was going to change her name to Bebe Dunkin or something like that and no one would accept her.  You could hear Vicki's confused voice saying:  "I don't understand.  Isn't this the 800 number for 'E - Entertainment' magazine so I can order the 'Greatest Dance Hits of the '80's' CD?"

Gerard

[Craig_Slocum]

I'm sure glad I saw this edition of Sightings. This is a must see for all Dark Shadows fans! Buzz's elucidations however, didn't provide much clarification about the eerie goings on at Collinwood. Star witness Harry Johnson, who lives at Collinwood, made everything clear when he explained in depth and great detail about his first hand occult experiences around Collinwood and the Old House mansions, involving a witch, warlock, vampire, and children communicating with a deadly spirit named Quentin. Harry also presented a photo snapped by David Collins at Collinwood, to validate claims of time travel involving a former governess, during her stay at Collinwood, which came about during a seance one night. The extra feature with ghost hunter Peter James, was excellent! He was successful in communicating with the spirit of the good witch, Bathia Mapes, who made an appearance long enough to further validate the truth about the "Collins Curse" and how she met her fiery demise. She spoke of the Old House and referred to it as 'the house of the curse.' confirming that this is where the legend began in 1795, and gave historical verification about the entire situation, which has now been proven to be accurate and true.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Gerard,

Perhaps Istvan, the mute gypsy of King Johnny's clan, could be a long-lost ancestor of Miss Cleo of Jamaica (by way of the Golden state).

Craig Slocum,

I'm sure that the "Sightings" staff would refer to "star" eyewitness Harry Johnson, as "a noted Collinsport raconteur and ufologist."

By the way, I'v seen "Sightings" host Tim White host a heady program on PBS dealing with technological breakthroughs and their political ramifications.  And I believe that  former "Sightings" correspondent Carla Wohl is now a reporter for the ABC Network.  I'm sure both of them probably wish that the Sci-Fi channel stopped televising a schlocky show like 'Sightings.'  The show is hardly a boost to their image as "serious, responsible journalists."

Bob the Bartender, who believes that the Star is the definitive source for highly credible news.