In the new movie Secret Window, Johnny Depp plays horror writer Mort Rainey, but every time I've seen the trailer over the past week or so, it sounds like the announcer is saying Mark Rainey.

Writers, especially horror writers, tuckerize others to an alarming extent ("tuckerizing" being the practice of using a form of a real person's name, usually a friend, in a story). One of the book dealers that regularly picked up Deathrealm, which I edited from 1987-1997, was a friend of Stephen King's and told me that King periodically got copies of the magazine. So when, in the early 90s, "Secret Window, Secret Garden" came out in Four Past Midnight featuring Mort Rainey, I wrote King and jokingly asked if the name was a pure coincidence or did he have it out for me. He wrote back, and I quote:

"No, the name is not a coincidence. In fact, I expect John Shooter may show up on your doorstep with a chainsaw in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other!"

So it looks like I've been tuckerized by King. I've got the letter framed over my desk (although I might want to take it down for safekeeping, since I'm told a signed letter from Stephen King is worth a couple of hundred bucks). I've been tuckerized by several other writers, and my favorite is Wayne Allen Sallee's: The Rainey-Marklyn House, an insane asylum in Chicago. Friends, you have not been tuckerized at all until you have been made into an asylum.

In regard to Secret Window, my friend and fellow writer James Robert (BOB) Smith asked how come, if Mort Rainey is based on me, how come he's played by Johnny Depp instead of someone like Danny DeVito?

I think John Shooter might need to show up on BOB's doorstep.

--Mark

Someone told me that if you use Microsoft Outlook for e-mail, simply opening the e-mail also opens the attachment.

Lots of viruses take advantage of flaws in earlier versions of Microsoft Outlook/Outlook Express (particularly any version prior to 6.0), which allowed certain attachments to automatically open. Microsoft's newer versions and subsequent patches have pretty much eliminated the threat of attachments opening themselves, but there are always those who, for reasons unknown, don't take it upon themselves to update their systems.

Also--hackers are continually finding new (or previously undiscovered) flaws in Microsoft's programs, so one cannot simply accept on faith that not opening attachments will keep you safe. Microsoft security updates are sort of a hassle, but they should not be ignored.

I've been using Mozilla for Web browsing and email for about a year now, and I'm hooked. Also, since I stopped using Internet Explorer/Outlook Express, my computer performance has improved considerably. After I installed IE/OE 6.0 a couple of years ago, I had lots of problems with the computer locking up, especially right at shutdown, forcing me to manually turn off the machine. From the day I started using Mozilla exclusively, that problem completely went away.

There are a few things about Mozilla--mostly the way it displays certain graphics--that aren't quite as pretty as IE, but the trade-off on performance and the fact that it isn't vulnerable to the IE/OE exploits has made it more than worthwhile.

--Mark

I actually think it would be a far more interesting series if they keep the Colonel (that was his rank) as an evil character, rather than the loveable buffoon he became in the original (which was by Jonathan Harris' own design).  He was far more interesting in the first coupla months episodes where he ramained a cunning danger to the family, doing everything from trying to murder them to betraying them to vicious aliens in order to save his own neck.

I quite agree. Although I admit I enjoyed Dr. Smith's antics as a clown, I thought he showed much greater range when he was a real meanie. I met Jonathan Harris briefly at the same con where I met Jonathan Frid for the first time, and I have to say, Harris just knocked me out with his wit and obvious long dramatic experience. He was one of the most entertaining speakers I ever heard. I adopted a whole new respect for him that day.

--Mark

I've always considered Friday the 13th my lucky day - either I had a test and did well, or got one back with a good score, or something nice would happen!!

I've generally had good Friday the 13ths, too. Never an unlucky one that I can remember, anyway. Of course, for me, Fridays are always pretty happy days. Yesterday, the missus and the young'un were on respective trips out of town, so I had the house and cats to myself -- a very happy thing, now and again.

--Mark

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPYBIRTHDAY
--Mark

And a bit of a P.S. --

I've also got a new short story in an anthology called Eldritch Blue, which features stories revolving around "love, sex, and the Cthulhu Mythos." Some very good authors are involved in it, including Ramsey Campbell, Walter C. DeBill, C. J. Henderson, and others (including an H. P. Lovecraft story). It's far less expensive than the aforementioned volumes, and it's due in March.

Here's where the info is....

http://www.clare.ltd.new.net/epress/webpages/eldblue.htm

Cheers.

--Mark

In case any of you have more money than sense, here's just the thing for you.

Some of you know I used to edit the magazine Deathrealm (in fact, it included a Dark Shadows piece by Marcy Robin, back in 92), which ran from 1987 to 1997. I've edited a new anthology for Delirium Books called Deathrealms: Selected Tales From the Land Where Horror Dwells, featuring 15 stories from the magazine (including one by Elizabeth Massie, co-author of Dreams of the Dark). It's due for a July release as a signed and limited hardback. More details and ordering info can be found on my Web site (http://home.triad.rr.com/smrainey) and at the Delirium Books site (http://www.deliriumbooks.com/deathrealms.htm). It's not a cheap book, but on the other hand, it's a very nice book, and it would go well on any twisted person's coffee table.

Also in July, my novel The Lebo Coven is due out from Five-Star books, also a hardcover (and therefore not inexpensive; it too is nice for twisted people's tables). Don't have ordering info on it yet, but will pass it on whenever it's available. This one is sort of a southern gothic horror romance with a touch of pathos and black comedy, and a few only slightly oblique Dark Shadows references that the astute reader is sure to detect.

Oh, and remember: If you're going out, or going on holiday, or see anything strange involving people from other galaxies, just get round to your local police station and tell the sergeant on duty (or his wife) of your suspicions.

G'night, God bless, look after yourselves.

--Mark