Author Topic: TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE IN COLLINSPORT, ME (Read 2299 times)

Misty · « **on:** October 10, 2002, 04:31:56 AM »

iT OCCURRED T0 ME ONE NIGHT AFTER WATCHING LETTERMAN, THAT IT MIGHT BE KIND IF FUN TO CREATE A DARK SHADOWS "TOP TEN". SOOOO HERE GOES---PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JUMP RIGHT IN!

THE TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN COLLINSPORT, ME

10- The only night spot in town is the "Blue Whale".

9- The top selling T-shirt reads, "Bite Me".

8- The population doubles after sunset.

7- Continuing Education course offered at the local
Community College: Conducting a Seance 101

6- Local jewelry stores sell only silver pieces.

5- The name "Collins" evokes violent panic attacks.

4- The daily storm is a way of life.

3- Whatever your need; whatever the hour; someone
is always on call.

2- Residents fly flags with crosses.

---and the number one sign you're in Collinsport ME:

----Despite the fact that Collinsport is in the state of
Maine, IT NEVER SNOWS!!!!!

Looks like Misty has too much time on her hands!!

Julianka7 · « **Reply #1 on:** October 10, 2002, 05:16:12 AM »

Misty,
This is a hoot! My favorite is the one about the pop.
doubling after the sun goes down! ROTFLOL!!!
Julianka

Midnite · « **Reply #2 on:** October 10, 2002, 06:50:21 AM »

I think these are great, Misty! Letterman should be nervous.

Mysterious Benefactor · « **Reply #3 on:** October 10, 2002, 07:34:01 AM »

Quote

I think these are great, Misty! Letterman should be nervous.

Definitely! These are hysterical - and putting lack of snow at the top of the list was an inspired choice if ever there was one.

The Ghost of Sarah Collins · « **Reply #4 on:** October 10, 2002, 07:59:23 AM »

I would love to try this... sounds like fun.
here goes...

10.The town motto is "If you lived here you'd be
dead by now"

9.When entering town you can only get one radio
station... W- b a t

8. The town silver smith can't keep up with supplies of
pentagrams

7.The Sheriff has a hot line to the big house on the hill

6.Every one knows the wailing widows by their first
names

5.A stake and mallet are standard road service
equipment

4. If you hear a Rooster Crow you know you'll live
another day!

3.All the bumper stickers read "Honk if you like howling"

2. Although this being a fishing town no one smells of
fish!

The number one sign your in Collinsport ME is....

1. no matter where you are it only takes 10 to 15 minutes to walk or drive where ever your going!

Josette · « **Reply #5 on:** October 10, 2002, 09:59:36 AM »

Wonderful - both of you!! I think the snow is one of my favorites, too, but lots of good ones from both lists!!

franimal · « **Reply #6 on:** October 10, 2002, 09:06:23 PM »

These are great! I'm torn between "the population doubles after sunset", the "bite me" t-shirt and the "if you lived here you'd be dead by now".

Thanks for the laughs!

c'ya

franimal

CandleLighter · « **Reply #7 on:** October 10, 2002, 10:01:49 PM »

10. The speed limit sign at the edge of town says "Run like hell."

9. Instead of a deer crossing sign, there is a werewolf crossing sign.

8. You stop at the local service station and they clean bats instead of bugs off your windshield.

7. The dentist advertises 2 for the price of 1 fang polishing.

6. Any tree or bush you touch nearly topples over.

5. Your date's idea of a fun time is a trip to a mausoleum.

4. Everyone wears scarves around their necks even in the middle of summer.

3. The men disappear at dusk and the women start roaming the woods looking for them.

2. Instead of dialing 911 for emergencies.. you dial 1-800-J U L I A

and the Number One sign you are in Collinsport is:

1. A red-headed woman approaches you and says.."Let me give you a sedative."

Raineypark · « **Reply #8 on:** October 10, 2002, 10:17:47 PM »

Quote

3. The men disappear at dusk and the women start roaming the woods looking for them.

ROTFLMAO

Raineypark

liz_collins · « **Reply #9 on:** October 10, 2002, 11:17:31 PM »

ROFLMAO

Somepeople just have to much time on their hands (and minds).
Thank you all for a real bright spot to my day. Boss won't be able figure out this smile. Thanks

Bette · « **Reply #10 on:** October 10, 2002, 11:39:19 PM »

Quote

and the Number One sign you are in Collinsport is:

1. A red-headed woman approaches you and says.."Let me give you a sedative."

These are all great, but obviously this is my favorite.

Bette

Happybat · « **Reply #11 on:** October 10, 2002, 11:42:09 PM »

These are wonderful! Ever thought of doing this for a living? Thank you all for the Friday afternoon chuckles.

It's a tough call, but the population doubling after sunset is certainly one of my favorites.

Gotta show this to GingerCat; she needs a good laugh or two!

jennifer · « **Reply #12 on:** October 11, 2002, 01:47:08 AM »

sitting at home with the sniffles popping cold pills
and downing fluids these really made my day!
PLEASE DON"T LET JULIA NEAR ME!
always thought it was funny because it never snowed
in Collinsport! they never needed boots, hats or gloves
either!

jennifer
that is Dexter isn't it?

Misty · « **Reply #13 on:** October 11, 2002, 02:09:09 AM »

Oh my God! I'm still laughing at the red- headed woman and the rooster crowing. They're all great. Yes, Letterman may well be worried!!!

Brain-dead at the moment,
Misty

kuanyin · « **Reply #14 on:** October 11, 2002, 03:15:57 AM »

Oh, there are some REALLY good ones here. My favorites are about the lack of snow and "If you lived here, you'd be dead by now."

I always find it amusing that the same episode always has one woman in sleeveless dress, one in a sweater, and then someone comes in with a coat on. Seasons are like bathrooms in Collinsport, non-existent.

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