OT/ AN APOLOGY & A GOODBYE

[Josette]

VAM, there's certainly no reason for you to leave.  Presumably now that it's been pointed out how something meant in jest can be misconstrued, you would be more careful in the future.  It would be a shame with all you've contributed here for that to stop because of one incident.  No one suggested banning you or that you weren't wanted.

[JWGucciEnvy]

I am just getting to know you VAM!!!

Stay!

:-(

[Carol]

Gee, Vam, now that I can see the board somewhat clearly, I find out that something happened and you want to leave it. Please don't. I've enjoyed reading your posts so much.

[Miss_Winthrop]

I hope you will reconsider and continue to post here. Obviously I missed the blunder made.  Perhaps everyone involved can email each other and work out a solution other than you leaving.  I've really enjoyed your comments very much and I feel saddened that it's come to this.

[CandleLighter]

I also wish you would reconsider, Vam.   You provide the board with a wide variety of topics to discuss and your presence would certainly be missed.  I hope you stay.  

[Gerard]

I don't know what happened (I rarely get the chance to read every single topic or post because of time), but you keep your kiester here, Vam!

Gerard

[VAM]

I am so very touched by all your responses. It does warm and move the heart to know you care. Because you care, so do I. Thank you!

            VAM

[yendor]

Now, this is ONLY an impartial observation, and I don't want anyone to take my comments personally, because they're certainly not meant that way.

Apparently, VAM (whom I do not know) "jokingly" (her term, not mine) jabbed at "XXXX" (whom I also don't know). The remark was deemed unacceptable by Midnite but left to stand (if I'm wrong about this, please don't hesitate to correct me).

What followed next was this thread--an "apology and goodbye" from VAM. Speaking objectively, I knew such a posting would solicit across the board sympathy and a slew of messages asking VAM to rethink her decision. And I knew (am I psychic, or what?) that it would all end the way it has: with VAM posting, thanking her supporters and (apparently) deciding to stay, after all.

In the meantime, "XXXX" is suddenly cast in a different light...by implication, he/she is almost the villain in this piece. Hmmm...is something wrong here? Who tossed out the first volley: VAM or XXXX?  

If there's a conflict between these two people, it should definitely be taken off board. And that also means "apologies." I seriously doubt anyone here (aside from XXXX) was insulted by VAM's comment--so why the apology to the board?  What's the point? I have my own opinion, but I'm afraid if I express it, I'll be riding out of here tarred and feathered.

Come on, kids...let's not have such thin skins, ok?

Rod

[Midnite]

Yendor, I know your intentions were good, but anytime you point fingers at another poster, you're being personal.  First of all, this has nothing to do with the poster you named (I x'd out the poster's name, btw, out of fairness to him/her), and I'm sure none of us want to see an issue between 2 members rehashed now that both have fully cooperated in taking their issues off the forum.

Please understand that the mods have the ability to remove posts for content, though it's done only when it's in the best interests of the forum and while referring to a guideline, and ideally it's done before visitors can see them.  (This, btw, is why we hope that posters will allow moderators to handle problems, because replies that call attention to problems before we can get to them often make them bigger.)  I've removed/modified more than a few posts in the past couple of days and another was voluntarily edited by the author, and you would have no idea whose messages they were or what they contained, so to try to recreate what happened is impossible for any non-administrator, and these are the reasons I ask that no one speculate or try to lay blame in addition to the fact that I don't feel it's an appropriate topic for discussion on a DS posting board.  Thanks!

[yendor]

Thanks for the explanation, Midnite...but if this issue was resolved "off board," why the existence of this thread? Shouldn't that have been taken "off board," as well...since most people, including myself, didn't have a clue as to what it referred to?

Rod

[VAM]

Now, this is ONLY an impartial observation, and I don't want anyone to take my comments personally, because they're certainly not meant that way

What followed next was this thread--an "apology and goodbye" from VAM. Speaking objectively, I knew such a posting would solicit across the board sympathy and a slew of messages asking VAM to rethink her decision. And I knew (am I psychic, or what?) that it would all end the way it has: with VAM posting, thanking her supporters and (apparently) deciding to stay, after all.

In the meantime, "XXXX" is suddenly cast in a different light...by implication, he/she is almost the villain in this piece. Hmmm...is something wrong here? Who tossed out the first volley: VAM or XXXX?

My return is sincerely due to the responses here which I did not intend to solicit. So I decided not to move out but move on. Let's not worry who started it all but concentrate on how to get beyond it. This really does not help in that regard...

[Midnite]

Thanks for the explanation, Midnite...but if this issue was resolved "off board," why the existence of this thread? Shouldn't that have been taken "off board," as well...since most people, including myself, didn't have a clue as to what it referred to?

You're welcome, Rod.  The topic was begun, apparently, as a way for VAM to apologize and say goodbye, and as for motive, you'll have to ask her.  While I understand that you're saying you don't know what she's apologizing for, it's not a justification to remove her message or stop anyone from telling her how they feel about her departure.  There's no reason you can't IM her, but my point is that the discussion about why or who or what happened doesn't need to continue here.

[Midnite]

VAM, your message was edited for content.  If you want to know why, read the following guideline.  At this point, I don't care if you say it was a joke, and I don't care if you claim that your words were misunderstood, and I don't care if you insist that the sarcasm was appropriate; just please know that I expect you to start reading your messages before you click "Post" to note if they offend, slander, insult, or inflame anybody, and if they do to use your back key to take those comments out.  And if you have something to say about this, my IM and email are both lit.  DON'T do it on the board.


4. If a poster feels wronged, slighted, or offended by another poster, these disagreements should be taken up in private e-mail between the posters. These disagreements may also be brought to the forum moderator, if necessary, but members are strongly encouraged to solve these problems among themselves off-board.

[yendor]

I understand. But what does "IM" mean? I can "IM" her? Huh? Does that mean private e-mail? Forgive my ignorance!

Rod

[scout75]

But what does "IM" mean? Does that mean private e-mail?

"IM" stands for Instant Message--which is slightly different from private e-mail, as you can send a member a private communication through the board.