"And if you act right now, we'll throw in two great deals! First, we'll throw in those longed for comfy blue-sheets! Appearing on nearly every bed every seen in Dark Shadows, they are sure to house wonderful extras, including, but not limited to--actors skin, actors hair, taboo fluids, and much much more!! All you have to do is give us your house!
"And, if you act within the next 2 1/2 seconds, we'll also throw in that hideous skirt that Maggie Evans wore! You know, the one that looks like she wrapped a blanket around her waist! All you need to pay is $500 in shipping and handling costs!
"Call right now, because if you are the first 0.05 caller, then we'll also give you a picture of Adam's green sweater that you'll treasure for ever!
"Just to be clear, you get the long-sought after Afghan, for only $275 AND your first born child; the comfy blue sheets in exchange for your house; Maggie Evan's ugly a** blanket skirt for $500; and a great keepsake picture of Adam's green sweater if you are the first 0.05 calller! You couldn't find a better deal anywhere!"
