...slather yourself from head to toe with:
...rubber tree sap. (As befitting his supposed Peruvian roots.)
...sarsaparilla. (Ditto.)
...vanilla. (Ditto.)
...Llama sweat. (Ditto.)
(You know all the best South American stuff to slather yourself with! I'm impressed!)
... rent yourself out to a lighthouse.
... are in the early stages of spontaneous combustion.
... take over for the talking good and evil light bulbs, they haven't had a vacation in years!
... take a job as a dying alien on
The Invaders.... put Cool Whip on your head and announce that you're a strawberry shortcake.
