"Well, missy - I don't know who you think you are - but when it comes to Barnabas Collins, I'm the only one allowed to taste his popsicle! Oh, did I just say that out loud - and with Barnabas conscious?! I suppose I just did!!"
"Julia became quite frustrated after Quentin had begged her to teach him how to dance the Argentine Tango but it seemed nearly impossible for him to pick it up - mostly because his erect penis kept getting in the way!!"
JH: "Oh my... This isn't a coffin! Why, it's a giant refrigerator for Mrs. Johnson to store pounds and pounds of barnacle larvae to make her famous dessert: Barnacle Larvae Surprise!!!"