Hey gang,
This is a variation of a very famous TV/radio commercial spot that I wish would be aired:
The camera focuses on a tall, handsome guy sporting sideburns and wearing a long, blue suit as the voice of an off-screen announcer informs us:
"Here's Gold Bond Medicated Body Powder user Quentin Collins of Collinsport, ME.:"
"Whenever the moon is full, I find myself transforming into the hairiest creature the world has ever seen, except, of course, for possibly Cousin It on 'The Adams Family!'"
"Let me tell you, folks, I itch like all heck! There are parts of my body I have to scratch, that I daresay, no man, woman or child has ever had to scratch, even once in their entire lives (except, of course, for Cousin It!).
"Ladies and gentleman, I feel like I'm enduring the worst possible case of prickly heat as I stand there (or should I day sit on my hindquarters) baying at the full moon from the top of Widow's Hill."
"Thank the good Lord for Gold Bond Medicated Body Powder! It really is a Godsend. The powder immediately relieves the awful itching, chafing, and extremely unpleasant, sweaty odor that I used to have to endure during all of those long, moonlit Maine nights. (Hey, you try 'coping' with all of that thick body hair scrunched up inside of a heavy woolen suit!)."
"So, folks, take it from me, Quentin Collins, charming reprobate extraordinaire, Gold Bond Medicated Body Powder really works!"
"Now, if only the good people at the Gold Bond Company could come up with a product that helps to preserve my one, lone blue suit from wear and tear!"
"Aaah....Oooh, Werewolf of Collinsport, draws blood!"
