Not my best effort, but here goes, anyway:
Top Ten Reasons To Haunt Collinwood
10. The residents know NOTHING!
9. The local exorcists are utterly incompetent, and won't give you any trouble.
8. The house is huge, with room for ghosts of all varieties.
7. Or, if you prefer fresh air, try Widows Hill - an ever-popular outdoor venue!
6. Collinwood is famous for its storms, but you'll never have to worry about getting your sheets wet.
5. You have your choice of environments: black and white for a classically spooky atmosphere, or color for psychedelic sensations.
4. If your want to hone your haunting skills, you'll find dozens of other ghosts available to help you.
3. The parties in the West Wing are legendary, and the annual Monster Mash competition always draws some snappy dancers.
2. If you're looking to pick up some extra cash, you'll find good employment opportunities working for local demons.
And the number one reason to haunt Collinwood is.....
1. Collinwood is on TV! You could be a star!