DARK SHADOWS FORUMS
Members' Mausoleum => Calendar Events / Announcements '24 I => Topic started by: Bob_the_Bartender on January 14, 2023, 01:14:34 PM
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Hey, gang,
When I heard the news this morning that someone in the great state of Maine had won last night’s Mega Millions lottery prize of $1.35 Billion Dollars last night, I immediately wondered if “you-know-who” had bought the winning ticket in Collinsport?
No doubt, many of the residents of the quaint and charming fishing village of Collinsport, Maine were/are faithful lottery players. I could see Mrs. Sarah Johnson, Sheriff George Patterson, Bob Rooney, Susie, the silent waitress, Willie Loomis, the Eagle Bill Cemetery Caretaker, Professor T. Elliott Stokes, Collinsport undertaker Mr. Jaret and, even the usually iconoclastic Buzz Hackett queuing up for a chance to win a prize that only requires a dollar (actually two dollars) and a dream!
Yet, I wonder if the reclusive Barnabas Collins employed his knowledge of such arcane and esoteric subjects as the “secret number of the universe” to provide him with the Mega Millions’ winning numbers? And, what would the wise and introspective, former (?) vampire spend his lottery winnings on? Would Barnabas make a substantial contribution to his good friend, Professor T. Elliott Stokes’ unnamed university, specifically an endowment to fund an expanded department on the study of the paranormal, including witchcraft, the concept of Parallel Time and the ancient Chinese divination practice of the I-Ching?
Would Barnabas invest in the popular Brewster’s’ Department Store in Collinsport, with a new line of men’s clothes and accessories, featuring Inverness coats, black onyx rings and extremely stylish men’s silver wolf’s head walking canes?
Or, would Barnabas finally decide to renovate and modernize the Old House by paying the expert craftsmen from the PBS series, “This Old House,” very handsomely, indeed, to transform the Old House into an incredibly stately home, which Stephen King, Elon Musk or even Taylor Swift would like to live in at Collinsport’s sister city, the toney and very upscale Bar Harbor,
Maine?
Yes, Barnabas could now be living “la dolce vita” (the sweet life) if he lucked out last night by winning the Mega
Millions lottery prize. When you got it, flaunt it, Barnabas, baby!!! [snow_greedy] [christmas_snow] [snow_bigglass]
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Perhaps Barnabas, Mrs. Stoddard, Roger and Dr. Hoffman were driving to a formal event in New Hampshire and they stopped in Lebanon, Maine on the state border to get gas and make a much-needed “pit stop” at the local gas station/hamburger restaurant, and one of them just happened to buy a couple of Mega Million Dollar tickets, while paying for their gas?
In any event, whoever did buy that winning ticket in Lebanon, Maine is now the richest person in Maine, worth $1.5 billion dollars; more than Stephen King and his $500 million dollar bank account, and even MORE than renowned Collinsport businessman and entrepreneur, Burke Devlin! [snow_greedy] [snow_laugh] [sledding]
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Hey Bob or perhaps good. Old Barnabas , would invest his billions in some new coffins,
Lined with black silk, and find the best blood bank to put his most expensive blood there.
Another thought going to get his hair styled by Grandpa Munster down at the laboratory.🤣🤣🤣
Love, Anne 👀👀 [evil-snowman]
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Anne,
You’re right; that coffin we saw Barnabas in over the years did seem to be too small for him. With all of that lottery money, Barnabas could buy a load of coffins with different fabrics and colors.
And, it would have been very interesting to have seen Barnabas, hanging out with Grandpa from the Munsters. Since, Barnabas was always quick to appreciate a pretty girl, he’d probably have been smitten by Marilyn Munster, the so-called “plain one” in the Munster family.
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Hey Bob I think too, Barnabas could use a newly furnished place to sleep as well,
maybe a built in alarm clock , to let him know it’s time to rise . Or a stereo system
to play a vampire lullaby 🤣🤣🤣🤣👀👀👀
Complete with wall to wall vampire carpeting 🤣🤣🤣😂😂
Love, Anne
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Hey Bob I think too, Barnabas could use a newly furnished place to sleep as well,
maybe a built in alarm clock , to let him know it’s time to rise . Or a stereo system
to play a vampire lullaby 🤣🤣🤣🤣👀👀👀
Complete with wall to wall vampire carpeting 🤣🤣🤣😂😂
Love, Anne
Anne,
I think with ALL of THAT money, Mr. B. could afford to buy THE finest coffin, you know, like the absolutely top-
of-the-line coffins such A-Listers as Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon and Elvis Presley (and, now, sadly Lisa Marie Presley, much too soon) have used to occupy until Judgment Day.
We never really saw Barnabas enjoying music on the show; although he did give Josette (not to mention several other attractive women) that incredible music box that worked flawlessly over the centuries. I wonder if Barnabas ever took Vicky to see some of the local bands, that probably performed on weekends at The Blue Whale? Or did Barnabas ever accompany Vicky, Mrs. Stoddard and Carolyn to see the Maine State Symphony perform in concert in either Portland or Bangor? [snow_huh]
As to the humongous Mega Millions lottery prize, that Barnabas might have won, I think he would have done something especially thoughtful for his longtime colleague and companion, Dr. Julia Hoffman. After all, Julia had assisted him and literally saved Barnabas’ bacon many times in the past.
So, out of immense appreciation for Julia’s steadfast loyalty and support over the years, Barnabas endowed Julia with a gift of $150,000,000 to open a series of Windcliff Hospitals (or Behavioral Health Centers) across America, thereby insuring both Julia’s professional and financial success. [snow_greedy] [christmas_snow]
Barnabas could become as great a philanthropist/mensch as the late, great Harry Chapin, the late US presidential candidate H. Ross Perot and even Collinsport’s “answer” to the late heiress Doris Duke, Judith Collins-Trask! [nods] [snow_smileydevil] [snow_silly]
Bob
PS There were 15 one-million-dollar winners across the country in last week’s Mega Millions $1.3 Billion drawing, I wish I DID know the “secret magic number of the universe” like Barnabas, because I would have bought one of those $15 million winning tickets at my local deli, two blocks away, where someone DID buy one of those winning tickets! [nods] [snow_greedy] [snow_angry]
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He might be able to afford forged immigration papers and a hacker to make the computer records match.
But he’d have to figure a way to “loose” the rest of his money fast so he wouldn’t get badgered by opportunists and media attention.
Maybe he could “loose” money it to a shell corporation or a fictional person that he settled a lawsuit out of court with. That way he can secretly control the money for his needs without being a target.
I can imagine him investing in the Cannery too almost as a way of paying back the hospitality he’s been given.
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He might be able to afford forged immigration papers and a hacker to make the computer records match.
But he’d have to figure a way to “loose” the rest of his money fast so he wouldn’t get badgered by opportunists and media attention.
Maybe he could “loose” money it to a shell corporation or a fictional person that he settled a lawsuit out of court with. That way he can secretly control the money for his needs without being a target.
I can imagine him investing in the Cannery too almost as a way of paying back the hospitality he’s been given.
I hear you in “taking care” of all that money; maybe Barnabas followed the considered actions of Corleone family consigliere Tom Hagen, former Albuquerque residents Walter and Skyler White and the Whites’ own savvy financial advisor/pettifogger, Jimmy McGill (a/k/a “Sol Goodman”)? [snow_smileydevil] [snow_greedy] [snow_ghost]
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Hi Bob, wonder if Barnabas had a financial adviser . Or perhaps he and dr Hoffman might slip
Away to a tropical island , to get married. And buy matching vampire wedding rings .
One more thing maybe he stashed his winnings in the lining of his coffin.
Oh well, just a thought .
Anne 🤪 [ibkR4ZH]
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Hi Bob, wonder if Barnabas had a financial adviser . Or perhaps he and dr Hoffman might slip
Away to a tropical island , to get married. And buy matching vampire wedding rings .
One more thing maybe he stashed his winnings in the lining of his coffin.
Oh well, just a thought .
Anne 🤪 [ibkR4ZH]
Anne,
If you’re also a fan of the great “Breaking Bad” series, you know how much space the $80 million dollars took
up, that former high school chemistry instructor/New Mexico drug king Walter White needed to stash all of that
amount of drug money.
As you suggest, if Barnabas wanted to stash the entire $1.3 billion he won in the Mega Millions Lottery in a large coffin, he’d need a coffin the size, that would have accommodated poor King Kong’s body after those planes shot him off of the top of the Empire State Buildng! [snow_shocked] [snow_greedy]
I do like your suggestion that Barnabas and Dr. Hoffman moved to a tropical island to bask in the warm sun. But, knowing Barnabas, he’d probably suggest to Julia that they move to the beautiful island of Martinique for the beautiful sunsets. [snow_undecided] [snow_smileydevil] [snow_silly]
Bob
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Bob, very well put as always . I think Barnabas went to a funeral parlor to purchase the most
Expensive coffin. And Dr Hoffman maybe a new labatory to work on her experiments.
Wonder if we should all write a book perhaps some people would buy it.
Hmmm Anne 💡 [sledding]
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Bob, very well put as always . I think Barnabas went to a funeral parlor to purchase the most
Expensive coffin. And Dr Hoffman maybe a new labatory to work on her experiments.
Wonder if we should all write a book perhaps some people would buy it.
Hmmm Anne 💡 [sledding]
Anne,
Do you remember when Mr. Jarrett (sp?), that local Collinsport mortician, came to Collinwood to speak with
Mrs. Stoddard and Barnabas about a supposed recent death at Collinwood and the guy mistakenly calls
Barnabas, “Mr. Jonathan” by mistake? I swear that Joan Bennett smiled, but she maintained her composure and
did NOT laugh out loud at that poor actor’s flubbing of his line. [snow_cheesy] [snow_wink]
Oh, yes, Barnabas would have had to, at least, provided Julia with a new laboratory to conduct all of her weird
experiments. [evil-snowman]
Regarding Julia’s books, about a million years ago, we had a discussion here about the titles of some of those non-fiction books the good Dr. Hoffman was working on, like:
“And ‘God’ Created Adam: The Incredible Life Story of Dr. Eric Lang” and...
“The Three Faces of Maggie Evans” and...
“Angelique’s Ashes.”
I’ll bet that any loyal fan of DS would love to read ANY of Julia Hoffman’s, no doubt, best-sellers.
[christmas_snow]
Bob
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Hey Bob I dont remember that scene it’s been so long. But anyway glad Joan Bennett
Kept her composure. Wondering how long Barnabas was a real human to see the light of day.
After Julia conducted her experiments with injections . Maybe a day it lasted?
Or who knows ? Anne 🤪
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Hey Bob I dont remember that scene it’s been so long. But anyway glad Joan Bennett
Kept her composure. Wondering how long Barnabas was a real human to see the light of day.
After Julia conducted her experiments with injections . Maybe a day it lasted?
Or who knows ? Anne 🤪
Anne,
Many of those wonderful DS bloopers are on the MPI Video “Dark Shadows Bloopers” dvd/vhs tape. However,
there’s one that I don’t think MPI included in that dvd/vhs tape.
After Mrs. Stoddard dramatically announces at her wedding to the slimy Jason McGuire, there’s scene with
Jason, standing in the doorway of the Collinwood drawing room, about to bolt out of there, with Roger, Liz,
Sheriff Patterson, Vicky and Burke Devlin standing right behind Jason. Roger says to the sheriff, “I ‘in-schist’
that you arrest Jason McGuire!” as Robert Cobert’s dramatic music begins to play and the scene begins to
darken, heading to a commercial. However, we catch a quick glimpse of Louis Edmonds breaking into a huge
grin as the still-in-character Dana Elcar (Sheriff Paterson) just begins to crack a slight smile as he glances over
at the “enraged” Roger Collins. It always cracks me up! [snow_cheesy] [snow_wink]
As to poor Barnabas and his vampire curse, there were two times when he was free of Angelique’s curse for
long periods of time. First, when the brilliant, but articulately-challenged, Dr. Lang used Barnabas in his life
force exchange experiment with Adam.
And, second, when Angelique finally and permanently lifted Barnabas’ vampire curse in 1840.
Julia’s attempts to cure Barnabas never really seemed to help Barnabas, except to change him into Collinsport’s
own Methuselah, when Barnabas made Julia speed up her treatment of him. [nods]
Bob
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Hi Bob makes one wonder if dr Hoffman had patients like Adam or whether prof stokes
had any teaching skills or degree to help Adam to talk . Hmmm just a crazy thought .
I know my suggestions aren’t that great .
Anne
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Do you remember when Mr. Jarrett (sp?), that local Collinsport mortician, came to Collinwood to speak with
Mrs. Stoddard and Barnabas about a supposed recent death at Collinwood
That scene was with Mrs. Johnson and Barnabas - Mrs. Stoddard was the one who was supposedly dead. [snow_wink] But hey, with so many mistaken deaths at Collinwood, it's so easy to get the deceaseds confused!! [snow_laugh]
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Do you remember when Mr. Jarrett (sp?), that local Collinsport mortician, came to Collinwood to speak with
Mrs. Stoddard and Barnabas about a supposed recent death at Collinwood
That scene was with Mrs. Johnson and Barnabas - Mrs. Stoddard was the one who was supposedly dead. [snow_wink] But hey, with so many mistaken deaths at Collinwood, it's so easy to get the deceaseds confused!! [snow_laugh]
Oops! I thought it was Joan Bennett who was amused by Mr. Jarrett’s slip-up. Yes, now I do recall that it was the great Clarice Blackburn in that scene with Jonathan Frid and the Collinsport undertaker. Sadly, Mr. Jarrett
never made a second appearance on the show. At least, he appeared to be a decent man, not a self-righteous, stick-in-the-mud like Collinsport’s earlier mortician, Lamar Trask.
I wonder if Mr. Jarrett, along with the Eagle Hill Cemetery Caretaker, was an avid viewer of “Six Feet Under”? No doubt, Vito Corleone would have called Mr. Jarrett and Lamar Trask the same thing he called Amerigo
Bonasera: a “corpse valet.” [snow_smileydevil] [snow_ghost]
And, Anne
I think that Professor Stokes DID tutor Adam on reading and writing. The thing that was so remarkable was
that Adam started out reading the “Dick and Jane” books, we all read as young kids in kindergarten, but within
two weeks, the big guy was reading “”The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.”
Of course, Adam had another tutor, the suave and urbane Nicholas Blair. Unfortunately, the things Nicholas
taught Adam to do, were how to lie, cheat, steal bully, threaten, etc.
One of the great, unanswered questions on DS, as to what DID happen to Adam after Professor Stokes sent
Adam to some private clinic (not Windcliff) to get some plastic surgery done? Alas, we never did find out. [snow_huh]
[snow_angry]
Bob
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Hi Bob you think dr Eric Lang did the plastic surgery on Adam? And Willie he was at Wind cliff
As well. I think as a cleaning guy ? I forgot .
Oh by the way I think u should be a writer Bob you are good.
👍. Anne
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Hi Bob you think dr Eric Lang did the plastic surgery on Adam? And Willie he was at Wind cliff
As well. I think as a cleaning guy ? I forgot .
Oh by the way I think u should be a writer Bob you are good.
👍. Anne
Anne,
Unfortunately, the good Dr. Lang was taking a permanent “dirt nap” by the time Adam showed up. Too bad. I, for one, enjoyed the great comedic rapport of Dr. Lang and his spirited young lab assistant, Jeff Clark. I tabbed them, Lang & Clark, Collinsport’s comedy team “answer” to Cheech & Chong! [snow_shocked] [snow_cheesy]
Yes, after Julia and Willie thought that Barnabas was dead and would ris as a vampire again, they made plans to take off for Windcliff, where Julia would give Willie a job as a gardner (like Peter Sellers in “Being There”), with the chance for Willie to move up in the hospital.
I hope you don’t get hit with a lot of snow tonight in your part of New York. I think we”re mainly going to get a lot of rain, set for coastal New Jersey.
Bob