Quote me good!

[Stuart]

Hello people

I'm putting together a feature for my website celebrating classic DS dialogue.  Having wrung my memory of pithy puns and put-downs throughly dry, I thought it'd be fun to open the gates and get everyone else's favourites too.

So, over to you guys. Basically, the obscure, the witty, the absurd, the moving - any character quote that you think deserves celebrating.  Note it here in this thread, email, PM or whatever.

Thanks and stay spiffy

Stuart

[Mysterious Benefactor]

There are just so many! But one that should definitely make the list (and one that no one should be surprised that *I* would want to see there):

ROGER: "Someone's got to tell him what a cheap, insufferable pig he is!" (re: Jeb in Episode #960)

But here are several of my other favorites:

BURKE: "I spend each day killing infants." (Episode #7)

DAVID: "In this house nothing is impossible." (Episode #90)

LIZ: "Tears are only good for watering cabbages." (Episode #156)

LAURA: "And from the ashes, the Phoenix is reborn." (Episode #191)

BARNABAS: "Members of my family tend to look alike." (Episode #243)

JASON: "She's marrying me because of my character." (Episode #269)

JULIA: "I think I've learned everything." (re: Barnabas in Episode #288)

JULIA: "I've been waiting for you for so long." (re: Barnabas in Episode #291)

DAVID: "Dead people just don't walk away." (Episode #306)

BARNABAS: "He clings to life with a leechlike persistence." (re: Willie in Episode #326)

BARNABAS: "Loathsome I am and evil, but leave my pain alone." (Episode #341)

BARNABAS: "I would never do anything to hurt my own flesh and blood." (Yeah, right!    Episode #350)

ANGELIQUE: "Your roads, Monsieur - pig stys the Countess calls them." (Episode #368/369)

ANGELIQUE: "I shall make you a devoted and obedient wife." (Yeah, right!    Episode #390/391)

BEN: "The dead can't come back to life." (Episode #406)

DR. LANG: "I have a certain interest in bizarre medicine." (Episode #466)

CASSANDRA: "I have my little tricks." (Episode #474)

PROF. STOKES: "Let's not waste time eulogizing me." (Episode #510)

NICHOLAS: "I don't have little vices." (Episode #522)

ROGER: "I've always been at a loss in understanding women." (Episode #547)

ANGELIQUE: "Death and I are old friends." (Episode #581)

JEFF: "Is there a law against opening your own casket?" (Episode #625)

TRASK: "The Collins familiy is a very strange family." (Episode #809)

PETOFI: "Aristede is an intellectual gnat." (Episode #841)

PETOFI: "My last aide-de-camp decamped." (Episode #843)

JULIA: "What else have you had, Barnabas?" (Implying he may have attacked someone in Episode #963)

WILLIE: "History isn't supposed to be a pack of lies." (Episode #972)

ANGELIQUE: "From tycon to lackey - my how the mighty are fallen." (re: Sky in Episode #974)

PT CAROLYN: "If I make her whirl in her grave, so much the better." (re: PT Angelique in Episode #975)

PT QUENTIN: "Stop that screaming and come down here." (Episode #986)

PT WILL: "What would the local society editor think if he knew the former Carolyn Stoddard has become intimate friends with a vampire?" (Episode #989)

PT CYRUS: "Coming back from the dead is not a trick." (Episode #990)

PT BRUNO: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I was entertaining someone very important - namely myself." (Episode #994)

PT YAEGER: "You're like a dog - you have to be hit to learn." (re: Buffy in Episode #997)

JULIA: "If I thought I could join him, I would stay here forever." (re: the PT room and joining Barnabas in Episode #1007)

PT ANGELIQUE: "There's always violence in love." (Episode 1014)

PT ANGELIQUE: "The idea of the occult bores me." (Episode #1026)

PT BRUNO: "Cyrus? The mouse with the M.D." (Episode #1036)

LAMAR: "My father was an emissary of the Almighty, sent to strike the cloven hoof from this wretched village!" (Episode #1121)

BARNABAS: "You gave me a thousand nights of agony!" (re: Angelique in Episode #1131)

EDITH: "Snuggle up next to your hot water bottle." (to Gabriel in Episode #1186)

GABRIEL: "Married to a pig!" (referring to Edith in Episode #1190)

PT JULIA: "We should burn this house - burn it to the ground." (Episode #1199)

PT CATHERINE: "When are the people in this house going to see their misfortunes aren't all caused by some evil spirit?" (Episode #1211)

PT CATHERINE: "Who could be happy in this house?" (Episode #1214)

[Raineypark]

And you just happened to have this list tucked away in a desk drawer, right Pepe?

[Mysterious Benefactor]

In a previous life, I wrote DS trivia questions for another forum, so, yes, indeed, I have a list of literally hundreds of quotes from the DS episodes. The ones I provided are but a small fraction. But then, I had to leave some really good ones for other people to post. 

[Maria_Merriweather]

Roger:  "You can't keep the jet set down".

[Maria_Merriweather]

I thought of another one.
Roger--"We'll be back!!." (after Quentin's ghost drove them out of Collinwood)

[PennyDreadful]

Quentin Collins: Of course a woman is going to kill me. I wouldn't have it any other way!

Nicholas Blair: (to a shocked Angelqiue upon his return) At the risk of sounding banal... It's a small world isn't it? 

 ~Penny Dreadful~

[Gerard]

Carolyn (to a drunk Joe Haskell):  "Joe!  You're potted!"

Maggie (to Vicki):  "Your're a jerk.  J. E. R. K."

Gerard

[Maybellique]

Willie: ((to Barnabas)) Yeah, you would have trouble sleeping, wouldn't you?

That was a REALLY good one. I'm sorry that I don't know the exact quote, but this was during the Adam experiment when Barn wanted to use Maggie for Eve. Thought that line packed quite a  punch. ~DJ

[Stuart]

Thank people   I've added a quote feature the homepage of my site, which I'll keep updating with new dialogue that catches my ear.