What¢â‚¬â„¢s Wrong With These People?

[CastleBee]

Julian, in Arashi's Hammiest Ham thread, wrote:

"My psychobabble for today - Willie seems to be a person who needed/wanted a strong male figure in his life (issues with his father?).  Witness his relationship with Jason McGuire."

Excellent analysis IMO !  This got me wondering ¢â‚¬¦ since we all know that Willie wasn't the only candidate for the couch on DS (by a long shot!), I thought I'd try my hand at analyzing some of the other odd behaviors of some of our favorite nut balls:

So, for your consideration, I offer my completely unprofessional opinion ¢â‚¬¦

Roger   - Problem: Cold, distant, arrogant.  Reason: My guess is that he grew up much the same as his own son¢â‚¬¦big old house, fairly isolated existence (except for an older sister who may or may not have given him much attention), and distant or perpetually busy parents.  Also has hideous, taste in destructive women.  Solution:  Make some friends, develop a sense of humor, lighten up and loosen up.  A good place to start might be by getting to know his own son.  

Liz   - Problem: Too serious, inability to enjoy life, distrustful of men.  Reason: Like Roger, grew up in a repressive and lonely environment, had to keep up appearances and never admit anything was wrong.  As the older sibling, may have taken on some of the responsibility for raising her younger brother.  Disastrous marriage.  Solution: Get out more, travel, cultivate friends, start a charity and get a dog.  

David - Problem: Sociopathic brat  Reason: Apparent genetic problems on mother's side of family  for the rest, see Roger.  Solution: Needs to be with other children, perhaps have the crap kicked out of him a few times, and then straighten out and experience the fact that he's not the only kid in the world with problems.  Then, he might be able to make some friends and enjoy life.  Also, wouldn't hurt either father or son if Roger could show him some real affection.

Julia   - Problem: Seems to suffer from repression and outside her professional life a certain amount of low self-esteem.  Reason: Trying to succeed in her chosen profession when she would have been attending college (1940's) had to be an all consuming task.  Before she knew it, she had become her job.  Solution: She must get past that crush on Barnabas (he's probably not the only good neck biter in the world!) and either resign herself to friendship only or leave Collinsport entirely.  Either way, she should consider dating other men - perhaps someone from the 20th century.

Barnabas - Problem: Irritable with a tendency to lapse into physical violence and verbal cruelty compounded by a fixation with much younger women. Reason: Extenuating circumstances.  I think pre-vampire Barn was fairly well adjusted until he became entangled with Angelique.  Her inability to take no for an answer in addition to her controlling personality and subsequent actions drove him to lengths he may never have taken had he been left alone.  This resulted in the manifestation of his worst possible traits. The fixation on young women is obviously his mind's attempt to return to his former love interest and follow through with his rudely interrupted life. I'm not sure that his reaction to his situation would be considered abnormal under these extreme circumstances.  Solution: Needs closure.  Should continue the path he started back in 1795; if possible, marry, have a small family and settle down to a nice, calm country squire existence he would/should have had.  Of course, this would all be dependant on finding a permanent cure for his vampirism.  

Upcoming problems and possible semi-spoiler¢â‚¬¦
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Jeb - Problem: Obnoxious, rude, crude, self-absorbed, arrogant and just plain mean. Reason: Grew up too fast. Solution: Intervention to get him out of that nasty cult.

Second, third and fourth opinions are welcomed on these and other cases.

[Julianka7]

Castlebee,
Very interesting

[Carol]

You certainly put alot of thought into this.

And, you are probably right.

[Mysterious Benefactor]

So, for your consideration, I offer my completely unprofessional opinion ?

You may not be a professional, CastleBee - but I think your analyses are dead on! (I particularly love your definition of the "Cheap, insufferable pig"'s problems - LOL!)

Hmmm... Have you ever considered that perhaps you were a psychotherapist in a previous life? I definitely think you could give Dr. Joyce Brothers a run for her money in this one!

[Patti Feinberg]

Carolyn : Problem: spoiled, overindulged. Reason: Guilt from aforementioned mother (re: deserted by father). Helpful tips: Mom should "cut her off", thereby forcing her to get (and hide your ears kitten) a [size=18]J O B[/size], and living side-by-side with her fellow mankind, perhaps not being so manipulative.

IMHO

[RingoCollins]

David - Problem: Sociopathic brat  [--, perhaps have the crap kicked out of him a few times,

 
Please!  Allow ME!!  [and man did I need a good laugh!]

and how 'bout:

The So-Called-Rev Trask  Problem: Megalomanical Self-righteous Control Freak  Reason: Typical Narrow Interpretation of Fundamentalist Literature Solution: Several hundred years behind a brick wall, and no more altar boys.

[Carol]

Carolyn : Problem: spoiled, overindulged. Reason: Guilt from aforementioned mother (re: deserted by father). Helpful tips: Mom should "cut her off", thereby forcing her to get (and hide your ears kitten) a [size=18]J O B[/size], and living side-by-side with her fellow mankind, perhaps not being so manipulative.

IMHO

Apparently, the Collins family never heard of the phrase:
to whom much is given, much is expected. I always felt Carolyn needed a swift kick in the butt out the front door of Collinwood. If not a JOB, then volunteer work at the local soup kitchen.

I wonder if the Collins family ever gave their employees turkeys at Thanksgiving/Xmas or hams at Easter. Do you think they ever opened their house for the employee holiday parties?  I doubt it for some reason.

[Lindsey]

Now, let's not forget-Carolyn did volunteer at the local antique shop. She was a tremendous help and always kept her mind on the job.   LOL Actually, I never even saw her lift a finger(except to gossip!).

-Lindsey

[kuanyin]

Vicky is easy to analyse, her lack of a family has made her exceptionally "nice" in an effort to please people, find love and acceptance. Her fixation on older (usually), extremely controlling, and critical men is a further manifestation of the same problem.

Carolyn is bipolar. Plain and simple, her moods could be a ride in the amusement park!

Maggie is the adult child of an alcoholic who also lost her mother at a young age and so has abandonment issues. Like Vicky, she attempts to control her environment and seek love and approval through being "nice".

Joe is the son of two parents who bored each other to death. He is continuing the family trait. Nathan, on the other hand, was most likely the son of a prostitute. Which would explain his marrying Suki, and his womanizing ways as his way of dealing with the Oedipal complex of a mother being sexual rather than nurturing.

HEY! THIS IS FUN!

[Dr. Eric Lang]

Solution: Needs to be with other children, perhaps have the crap kicked out of him a few times,

I must take exception to this idea, in all seriousness. I do not subscribe to the idea that anyone benefits from getting into a physical fight let alone getting "the crap kicked out of him." In fact for a child with David's problems I'd say physical violence is the last thing in the world this kid needs. He improved by leaps and bounds once Victoria came into his life and he finally began to trust her. He desperately needs playmates his age but have a heart. No child benefits from "getting the crapped kicked out of them."

[Josette]

Very good analyses, CastleBee.  They all make sense to me.  And, to those who added subsequent ones, those are, too.

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Really loved your Jeb comment "He grew up too fast"!!!

[Mysterious Benefactor]

Now, let's not forget-Carolyn did volunteer at the local antique shop. She was a tremendous help and always kept her mind on the job.   LOL Actually, I never even saw her lift a finger(except to gossip!).

-Lindsey

You must have blinked while she was dusting.

And she answered the phone at least once.

Now I ask you, what more could you possibly expect from the volunteer help?

[Barnabas]

Julian, in Arashi?s Hammiest Ham thread, wrote:

Solution: She must get past that crush on Barnabas (he's probably not the only good neck biter in the world!) and either resign herself to friendship only or leave Collinsport entirely.  Either way, she should consider dating other men ? perhaps someone from the 20th century.

Hysterical but true!

[Daphne]

Carolyn is bipolar. Plain and simple, her moods could be a ride in the amusement park!

I always thought there was more to Carolyn than the show ever let us see..... She lost her father at an early age [3...and he wasn't that great either grrr], and still obviously misses him [altho I do hear he comes back ?? LOL ]  and she, like David, has no visible friends or playmates, and the children in school used 2 tease her about her mother being a witch [does neone else remember that? lol I *swear* it was in an episode!], and then being forced by her mother in2 a relationship she didn't want with Joe, which was Liz's attempt 2 save Carolyn from what she [Liz] went through, something like Miss Havisham and Estella and Pip from Great Expectations or something, .....and yeah, being spoiled positively rotton probably doesn't help either. When did she volunteer somewhere? LOL or was that a joke? *puts on glasses and continues her deep thinking*

[RingoCollins]

benefits from getting ...  "the crap kicked out of him."

A very thought provoking post, and I have considered the reasons why, with some alternatives:

Reg should be aware:

1.  There are more than 20 small, fragile bones in the foot, which he may injure - and possibly cause a costly delay in his work.

2. The act of kicking could cause Reg to be thrown off balance and fall, injuring his coccyx [a very painful injury] again risking his business interests, as well as his physical relationship with his loving bride.

3. The recipient of the kick could be propelled into, and possibly damage, one or more of the valuable antiques in Collinwood.

4. Said 'crap' that was kicked from The Little Monster would present a very unpleasant clean up job for Mrs. J [and we don't wanna get on the wrong side of her, ya know, she may send that knife-happy weasle of a son to get even]

Reg should consider:

A. Whatever course of action he chooses should be taken OUTSIDE the house [either house] - away from other family members and valuable possesions.  Keep in mind Widow's Hill is very convienient! [TLM is not as hardy as Adam]

B. Never being a sports fan myself, or understanding the facination with a bunch of guys dressed alike doing the same thing over and over for points [what IS a 'point' anyway?] - using a 5 iron, or a baseball bat might finally have a purpose.

C. Just let Julia and Barn be guardians for, say, 12 to 15 years, they have done such a fab job with Adam!  Now that they have that experience, TLM will be a cakewalk!

D. Have another Brandy, or Sherry [all perfectly legal - if you can believe that!]

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Sorry to let my sensitive side show. [time for another Gin and Tonic!]

Child-free-by-choice [which was probably inspired by seeing TLM as a child myself!],
Ringo


'Wasted, but Ready'